Up Against The Wall And Spread Em
by JakeDanielRoss
Summary: Sometimes relief is found in the oddest of places. An older woman, and younger man the backseat of a  car in a an alley. Who rocks whose world?Bella is about to find out, if she doesn't kill him first.
1. Chapter 1

How in the hell did I get roped into this detail was the main thought that kept crossing my mind as I was driving the two giggling teens in the back of my car downtown in the late evening towards a dodgy little dive bar in a less than stellar part of Portland that I normally wouldn't come to unless I was investigating a crime. But, there I was, dressed in the clothes I had let my 16 year old daughter pick out, listening to the music of this weird band that she insisted was the , "Next big thing" as I chauffeured her and her equally giddy and giggly friend towards the venue. The music wasn't bad, though the lyric were often a bit on the odd side and somewhat dark if you listened to them closely, but I figured if they probably couldn't be any worse than what I had listened to when I was her age, so I grinned and bore it, and besides the boys whose pictures she showed me that made up the band weren't actually to bad to look at, so I figured it might not be full on torture to chaperone, there were worse things, such as mall expeditions and salon trips.

My Captain had full on laughed at me when I had told him the reason for my request for the night off, well in advance of the concert. He knew my rather misanthropic nature didn't hold well with crowds and especially hormonally challenged crowds of giddy teen girls or celebrities that were full of their own self importance. He had reminded me to leave my cop self at home and not arrest anyone, including band members. I had just sighed and resigned myself to having absolutely no fun at all at that point. It was going to be hard enough to sneak out and have a smoke without getting caught by my daughter or her equally anti-tobacco, health Nazi friend, but considering I was going to be designated driver and stone cold sober for this, I knew I was going to have to sneak out and smoke sometime or someone was going to come up missing vital body parts. "Mom, now remember, once we get in there we don't know you, you don't know us. Don't glare at people! Don't be mean! This is a happy, fun concert. Just relax and try and have a good time, or at least stay against the back wall and don't scare the guys, PLEASE?" My daughter knew me all too well. One time at ONE football game I take a jerk down and choke him out and she never lets me forget it or live it down. Never mind the fact the guy was drunk and disorderly and had a knife…oh NO! Her mom that protected the coach from his attacker is the bad one in the whole deal because she embarrassed her daughter by existing and revealing she was a cop. I cant win. "I will do my best to behave" I muttered to my daughter over the music. I was a little hurt by her implications, after all, I had sacrificed quite a bit to ensure I didn't embarrass her. I hadn't dated or gone out in over 3 years. That's right, THREE YEARS without a man in my life. I had been to work and to home and playing chauffer, cook, maid and whatever else my baby girl had needed. I was lonely, but it had been worth it. She was a straight 'A" student, Captain of her cheerleading squad, honors pretty damn much everything, class president and super popular. She played piano and guitar and sang in the choir and was a damn good kid, even though she bossed me around about my clothes and hair, but that hadn't started until I complained that I kept getting hit on by women all the time. The third time I had that happened, I came home to an intervention of sorts.

Daughter and my best friend had emptied out my closet and all my clothes were lined up in piles on the floor of the living room, along with my shoes, or should I say boots. I had one pair of running shoes for PT, but everything else was cowboy boots or duty boots. My clothes were much the same. There was a pile of black, a pile of blue jeans, a pile of ratty t-shirts, my hoodies, and my leather jackets. My daughter declared it time for a change and they took me out shopping in an attempt to get me into something other than black or white or blue. That is how I found myself wearing a maroon button up shirt that was low cut enough o show off the goods, and a pair of black skinny jeans that made me glad my ass was out running and working out 5 days a week. But I balked when she tried to get me in heels for the evening, "Look heifer, I am not going there to seduce one of those boys! They are young enough to be my damn sons,(that got an "Eww" and an eye roll)I am going there as your chauffer and security detail, and that means I need to be able to stand on my feet and be able to throw down if necessary, so I will be wearing my boots, but I will wear my nice, new ones okay?" She relented and settled her self with being able to mess with trying to do something with my hair other than allowing me to tie it back in a ponytail or stuff it under a hat, but when it started to drizzle, she gave up in frustration and went to worry about her own appearance, though I warned her she was "Jailbait" and none of the grungy young rock stars that even tried it would live to see the inside of the jail. " God MOM! turn down the damn Texas, would you?" I knew I had made my point so I had left to pick up her friend,(though I stopped for a pack of cigarettes to stuff in my boot along with a lighter) on the way to get her. Once I got her friend back to the apartment, the pre-concert hysteria seemed to go into overdrive and I wished I was able to drink prior to going down there. I half-way debated taking the Max with them, but due to the lateness of our anticipated return time, I did not want to be trying to deal with the Max without my weapon in case I was to run across any of my prior cases, I also realized it was a bit of a hike from Lloyd Center to the bar, and that wasn't going to happen with them already stressed out, so we were driving whether I liked it or not, and I was going into it sober.

Knocking on the door of daughters room before we left, I had been prepared to get my head ripped off by my amped up progeny, but she was remarkably cool and relaxed. I halfway debated drug testing her, but I didn't detect the odor of weed and I knew the neighbors that had the weed permit were out of town so neither of us had had a contact high in a week , so I asked her, "What gives? Why are you soo calm now when you have been a freaking stress case all week?" She just smiled at me and her friend said, " Look! Look at them! How can you be stressed out when you are going to be in their company" She waved her arms around in daughters room, indicating the posters and ephemera that made the room a virtual shrine to the odd little band. Their logo that looked like a stoned chimp gazed blearily out at me from virtually every corner and the boys themselves all looked like they needed a good scrubbing in various posters, but they had a certain charm and I had to admit, they made me smile in spite of myself. The one that seemed to do the majority of the singing was a cute little devil and I found myself thinking to myself that if I was 20 years younger… but I put those thoughts aside and reminded the girls that we had to find parking so we had to leave at least an hour before the show unless we wanted to park in Vancouver and be late for the show. That got them moving and the next thing I knew I was being crammed in the front seat of my car and we were headed downtown with the music blasting.

It was already dark when we arrived downtown and the typical "Lets tear up the streets and leave a freaking disaster for people to try and figure out was in full-effect for the blocks surrounding the venue, but luckily I knew my way around down there pretty well due to doing some recon prior to the show, and I found an alley that ran behind the bar that had a few parking spaces in a out of the way spot. I slid my car in next to the dukes mixture that was already there and we headed around to the front of the bar to join the line of giddy teens and whatever elses that was already gathered by the front doors. I was hoping that this band wasn't going to run late with their start time like so many of the bands of my youth did. I still remembered the riot I may or may not have participated in at an Ozzy concert in Shreveport back in the day, but ill be damned it I would have ever admitted that to my daughter. The girls waiting by the door seemed like a happy bunch, there was a bunch of touchy-feely, hugging and shouting of hello's and more than a few were wearing t-shirts proclaiming themselves, "Hoors" or that they felt like "Sinning". I was beginning to wish I had paid just a little closer attention to the lyrics of the songs because I was not so sure I was happy with the thought of my daughter referring to herself under either of those titles, but her and her friend had already spotted some of their friends and they had joined in what seemed to the ritual squealing, hopping, hugging, thing that so many in the line were engaged in. I was frankly a little non-plussed and wishing I could find a drink, but I knew for at least the next 2 and a half hours the show was supposed to run, I had to behave myself. Since I was forbidden from contacting daughter directly at this point, I sent her a text, " Do you have your tickets?" to which she replied with a terse, "Yes". I sent her , " When you go in, do not leave the show. I forgot something in the car." to which she replied " OKAY!" I knew then I had a perfect window to go smoke a cigarette in peace and quiet, away from squealing teens and judging eyes.

As I was walking to the car my cell phone went off again only this time it was my Captain. "Just a reminder, have fun, arrest no one!" Yeah, fuck you too asshole I muttered as I walked up to my car. Intent on my phone, I didn't see the shape leaned up against the tree that was next to my car until he stepped out right beside me and unfortunately for him, startled me. It was dark in that alleyway, I was distracted and aggravated, and not expecting someone to all of the sudden be right at my elbow and especially I wasn't expecting them to say in a drawl, " Well just who are you wanting to fuck?" So I reacted as any typical trained cop would react in that situation…really! I am not a freak! I did not over react by grabbing him by the wrist and twisting him around and body slamming him over the hood of my car and then taking him all the way to the ground. I didn't hurt him…much. He squawked a bit as I proned him out and frisked him, and in the dark I couldn't make out his features but I growled at him to shut up as I held onto his thumbs in the small of his back with my knee in his neck. After I searched him for weapons and found nothing other than a bunch of odd boy junk such as loose coins, lint, guitar picks, cell phone, harmonica, oh shit…I flipped open his wallet and used his cell phone to read his I.d. double oh shit! my daughter was going to kill me. I had just felony flopped and pretty much felt up the lead singer of the band she was waiting to see in concert.

I eased up the pressure my knee had on the back of his neck, "What the hell do you mean stepping out on me like that?" I went with an aggressive form of questioning to try and get my ass out of the fire just a bit, because I did have a bit of a valid point, the boy had scared the hell out of me and if I had been armed he would have been minus a few of his perfect teeth. He struggled a bit, trying to get up and I torked just a bit on his wrists just to let him know I was still in control of things, and he squawked and then laid still. "I was just out here for a damn smoke and to see who in the hell had parked in our spot out here so we could get this car towed out of the way." Get my car towed? Oh no fucking way that was going to happen. "This lot isn't posted, who in the hell appointed you parking lot patrol, there lil fella? I would have been really pissed off if I had come out and found my damn car gone." He tried to turn his head to get a look at me and I leaned over to look at him a little closer, "If I let you up, you gonna behave yourself?" I asked him. He grunted at me, 'Do I have any damn choice, I don't want to get shot." I laughed at him on that one, "Oh I am under strict orders not to shoot you or anyone else this at this fiasco tonight, but I will mess up your pretty face if you try anything." I got up off of his neck and let his thumbs go so he could get up off the dirty ground. When he finally got to his feet I realized he wasn't too much taller than me, and in the dimly lit alley, the shadows gave his face in interesting cast that made him look oddly more mature than I knew him to be.

He dusted himself off, muttering and cussing a bit and he cocked his head to try and get a better look at me in the dim light. "Why in the hell did you body slam me? What the hell was that all about?" I just laid it out flat to him, "You stepped out from behind a tree in a dimly lit alley and you startled me, you are lucky all I did was take you down. You could have gotten seriously hurt. What the hell are you thinking pretty boy, messing around out here in the dark by your self, aren't you worried about getting mauled by rampaging groupies?" He scoffed, "No, they are all inside waiting for the show to start, I have a good hour before I have to worry about that so I came out to check on the vehicles and to have a smoke, but now that you have crunched my cigs, I shit outta luck on that end of things." I laughed at him gently, 'Don't you know smoking is bad for you? It will age you and give you cancer or some other shit, and its directly the cause of global warming and the end of the world." As I was talking I put my foot up on the tire of my car and reached in and got my new pack of smokes and lighter. I cracked them open and took one and then handed him the pack. 'Guess I might as well contribute to the delinquency of a minor while Im out here felony flopping one". He coughed as he lit the cigarette he took, "Who is a minor" I am 25 years old!" I was floored. I laughed at him, and said, "Hun, I got bad habits older than you are and probably more than a couple of pair of boots."

It started lightly drizzling on us as we were standing there and I said, "I don't know about you, but I aint standing out in this, you are welcome to sit in the car with me if you want, but I am gonna smoke and try and relax before I have to go and join my daughter and the 10,000 screaming tweenies in that hell hole." He stepped around to the passenger seat and got in, and as the door opened I got to see just how damn cute he was close up and personal. I was shocked by the immediate reaction my sex starved body had to him and I took a damn long drag on my cigarette as he leaned back in the seat. "So I am figuring you are a cop or something like that?" he said after a moment of both of us smoking and just sitting. "Yeah, just like my dad was." he laughed softly. "I shoulda known, whats you name? Names Bella" he started to tell me his but I interrupted him, "Hun, I know who you are, I have heard your name pretty much every damn day for the last couple of years from my daughter and her friends and I have seen pretty much all your movies and whatever else you have done because my daughter is a bit on the overindulged side." That made him laugh out loud, and I laughed along with him. "So what does your husband do?" I sighed as I told him, " I wouldn't know, I don't have one, I seem to give the wrong first impression with my habit of felony flopping all the males that try to get close to me, plus the whole single mom/cop thing isn't exactly conducive to dating so I have just focused on raising my daughter and being the chief cook and bottle washer for the past few years." He turned and looked at me in the dim light of the cars gauges, "So you don't date?" I started to feel a little defensive at this point, "Its not as if I haven't wanted to, but like I said, I tend to scare the hell out of men and I wont play anything other than what I am, so I gave up and I have just been alone for the past few years. Its difficult in some ways, but easier in others." He took a drag on his cigarette and got quiet for a bit so I decided it was time for a little Quid Pro Quo, 'So what about you? How long have you been together with your companion?" He sat up pretty quickly and looked at me, "COMPANION? What do you mean Companion?" I knew then that perhaps I had made a mistake in some of my assumptions because the boy was not reacting to that word the way I expected.

"Well that fella that you are always standing with in pictures and when you are on stage, I mean anybody can tell by looking at you two and how you move around each other than there is something there. I think its great. Love is love doesn't matter to me if you are gay or not, might break my daughters heart, but doesn't make me no never mind." The boy started choking and coughing to the point that I thought I was going to have to pull him out of the car and do CPR on him, and when he was finally able to speak again he sounded more than a little upset. "I am not gay!, He is not my companion, he is my business partner and best friend, but that is ALL! Oh my God is that what people think?" I just looked at him, "Dude, do you never go on the internet? I screen my daughters accounts and her conversations so I know what is being talked about and I make sure its staying decent , but you and your friends relations have been quite the topic for debate for months. People analyze every song you guys sing together, every time you pose together and every move you make around each other and not only have they decided you two are gay, they have decided who is top and who is bottom." He was on the verge of hyperventilating as I told him this and I was rather stunned that he was not aware of it, after all, it was all over the websites that my daughter followed and they had following that numbered in the tens of thousands. He was sitting there with his head hanging down a bit and he said, "No, I try to avoid reading about myself, either good or bad I just do my music and my work and I let other people handle that end of things." Whoa! I couldn't believe that, the boy did not know his sexual habits were one of the most hotly speculated items in the fandom? I would have laughed if he didn't seem so freaked out about it. "If its any help, pretty much everyone is really supportive and more than a few find it really, "Fuckhot" I believe is the common terminology. There are even a whole bunch of fan fiction stories based on it and a few videos." He groaned like he was in pain and I felt kinda bad for the kid so I reached over and patted his shoulder. "Hey, let me tell you, as a female cop that has been accused of batting for the other team for most of her adult life, there are worse things you could be accused of. Your fans seem to be growing instead of shrinking in number and what does it matter to you what fans think, all that matters are what the people around you know and I bet you just have women dripping off of you, I know that in spite of what they may suspect, many of your fans have the dirtiest thoughts about seducing you and doing the most wild things to you." He just seemed to sit there frozen for a minute or two and then he turned and looked at me, "You seem to know an awful lot for someone's mom about what all is going on." I have never been one to be afraid of being blunt about things, and hell… What did I have to worry about? He was some random young rock star that would be leaving town in the morning and I would be leaving right after the show was over with my daughter, so I just laid it out to him. " Well, you aren't hard to look at and I am pretty damn sure you are aware of that. I am a older, single woman that doesn't have much time or initiative to get out and meet anyone to take care of business for me, so you may or may not be part of my personal array of spank bank images." Annd again with the coughing and choking, I swear, for a boy that was a singer by vocation, he sure didn't have much ability to keep from getting choked up. I reached over and thumped him on the back a few times until he got himself under control and he looked at me a little bit owl-eyed as he said, "Did you just admit to having a spank bank?" I was a little taken aback, where was this kid from? Oh yeah, Texas, like me, but even I knew that women had visual aids to help take care of business in the lean times, and the boy was pretty to look at with long hands and such full lips that just …Ack! I shook myself to clear the images out of my head. It was distracting enough having the boy sitting in the front seat of my car with me talking about all the homoerotic porn I had read about him, it wasn't going to make the situation any less easy to handle if he kept on. "You know, this is the 21st century, women do actually indulge in such things and often go after men they desire when that isn't enough." He snickered and said under his breath, "Or they simply body slam them, throw them in cuffs and haul them away for their own dirty desires?" I laughed at him and said, " Well, I didn't have my cuffs with me or that might have been a very real danger for you." Whoa, whoa, whoa! I think the conversation just crossed over into very damn interesting territory, and as the rain really started pouring down on the car, I realized that the windows in the car were fogged up completely on the inside, making it impossible to see not only outside the car, but inside as well.

He leaned over and looked at me and said, " You wouldn't have needed the cuffs, I probably would have come along willingly, I like a woman that knows how to take charge of things." I didn't know what the hell to say to that one. I just took what I hope was a not too ragged sounding breath and said, "Oh, is that so? Well, be careful what you wish for young man, I might have to school you in a thing or two." I was soo going to hell and my daughter was going to be the one turning me into to them devil himself for corrupting this boy, but damn the sexual tension in the car had just gotten so damn thick you could cut it with a knife and I figured, what the hell, he would either be into it, and we would both enjoy a little stress relief before the concert, or he would flee the car like his ass was on fire and never breath a word because a chick had kicked his butt. I reached over and grabbed him around the back of his neck and pulled him into a kiss that I hoped would give me a response one way or another and really damn fast because he was going to have to get in to do his show and I was going to have to get in to find my daughter. He didn't resist or pull back at all, and in fact he reached over and tangled his hand in my hair and we battled for dominance for a moment before he realized that I was running the show, one way or the other.

The boys lips were just as kissable and soft as I thought they would be, and he didn't even hesitate about slipping his tongue in and letting me know I was being kissed by a man who knew what the hell he was doing. I was out of practice, but I damn sure found myself remembering what I was doing once we got into it, and the next thing I knew, our hands were under each others shirts and the groans and pants coming out of both of us would have done a porn soundtrack proud.

The front seat of my sedan was not going to be the best place for anything to really happen, so I pushed him off of me a minute just long enough to say, "Back seat!" I was never really happy about being a short person until that moment, and I know he felt the same way, because while we couldn't stretch out, it was a damn sight more comfortable than being folded up in the front with the gear shift in the way. I locked the doors of the car and joined him in the back where he was already without his shirt and working on losing his jeans, (no easy feat considering he was wearing those damn painted on skinny jeans that younger guys favor, but I decided to help speed things along by removing my own jeans and boots as well, so I had more time to look him over after he got his jeans off. I ran my hands over his lean, tight chest and abs and I leaned forward and began kissing my way up and around his chest as he groaned and panted and palmed my breasts. I nipped along his neck and ear as I reached down to see just what I was getting for my troubles, and I have to say I was pleasantly pleased. He was not freak of nature "Monster peen" like what was written about in so many of the stories written about him, but he was nicely equipped and he wasn't all manscaped and hairless, he was simply a normal young man that was so damn hard that when I touched him, it practically jumped straight up. He was patting around looking for something, his wallet I assumed and hoped, so I reached down and handed that to him and hoping he wasn't a one shot jock, I bent down and grasping the base of him, I decided to give him a warm up with my tongue.

That made him drop his damn wallet because he let out a garbled, " Ungngn" sound as I worked him over top to bottom and round the tip, flicking my tongue over edge of the head and I swear the boy quit breathing for a minute or two so I slowed and then stopped because there was no way in hell I was going to let him have all the fun. I reached down and got his wallet and laid it up on his chest so he could dig out the condom, and after he finally found it, I took it from him and working him over briefly again, I opened it and rolled it down on him. Leaning forward, I told him, "Scoot over just a lil bit hun Im gonna need some room to move." and as he scooted over in the seat I threw a leg over him and straddle his hips, and before I could change my mind, I reached down and pointed him in the right direction and slid down on him. We both groaned and I raised up, settling down on him so that I got the full effect of what he had to offer, and Ill be damned if the boy didn't start working his hips like he was some kind of machine. I knew that it had been so damn long that I wasn't going to last long at all and with him doing some kind of dance underneath me that should be illegal if it isn't, I reached down and started tweaking his nipples and teasing the outline of his pecs as I ground back down on him, tightening and giving back everything I had to give. I caught his hands and placed them on my breasts, trying to give him a hint that they needed some attention, and lucky for me the boy was a quick learner and pretty damn sharp. He not only started working them over with his hands, he raised up and began flicking my nipples with his tongue. I tangled my hands in his hair and tugged his head back, giving me access to his neck, and I started nibbling and biting along every place I could reach as the boy did his damndest to take the dominant position. I don't know how we managed it, after all, my car is not huge and I am not near as flexible as I used to be, but we managed to end up with him on top and then he went to town and I became a believer in never quitting smoking.

Anybody walking past that car at the moment I came would have thought a grizzly bear was loose in the alley. I swear to God I growled unlike anything I have ever done before and I know I marked the boy with my nails, hell it was all I could do to not bite him, and when he came a few seconds after me, he promptly went dead weight on me and was sweating and panting like he had run a marathon, and in a way we both kinda had, a freaking wonderful marathon. Ever the pragmatist though, I took a look at my phone and realized he was due on stage in less than 10 minutes, so he was going to have to get his shit together and get back inside before the tweenies rioted and took both of us out, so I gently, rolled him off of me and I started hunting up my clothes and his and trying to coerce him into getting dressed. He was laying there like he was a bit out of it, so I thought I better get some cool air into the car, so after I got my clothes back on, I got into the front seat and cranked the car so I could crack a window. I lit a cigarette and nudged him again, "Hey sugar, you need to get up before folks come looking for you and think I did something horrible to you." He groaned and started moving then and chuckled "No, not horrible, I just feel like I am boneless now." I reached over and grabbed hold of him, removing the condom and tossing it out the window, as he shuddered and acted like I goosed him. He started pulling his jeans up and I handed him his boots and shirt while I turned and checked to make sure I would be able to pass inspection with anybody I might run across on my way into the venue. When he was finally dressed, I shut the car off and thankfully the rain had started to slow to a point that we wouldn't get to saturated if we hotfooted it to our respective entry points into the bar.

I turned to him and said, " Thank you much sugar, I needed that." He grinned at me and said, " Glad to be of service, ma'am, will I see you around?" I didn't know what to say. I have lived in Portland for awhile but I didn't know where I would end up in the next couple of years, so I told the truth. 'I don't know, I've been here, but I never know where I will end up, if you find yourself needing some company, hell…im not hard to find if you are motivated." With that, I opened the door of the car and stepped out and he did the same. We both scatted pretty quick due to the rain, and as I walked down into the venue, I could sense the happy vibes of the kids surrounding me and I thought, What the hell, im not going to stand in the very back hiding and missing out, Im gonna sit right up on the banister that overlooks the dance floor so I can see the stage, and if he wants to , he can see me.

The lights went down and the tweenies all began hooting and hollering and then there he was, front and center on the stage, looking like he crawled out of the back of a car with his hair a mess, his shirt buttoned up wrong, and just as deadly cute as he knew how to be. The band rocked the house and the girls ate it up, and truthfully so did I because watching the boy was pure pleasure. He knew how to work the crowd and with his gyrations and lyrics that were almost pure double entendres, he had them eating out of the palm of his hand. I just sat up on my perch and grinned at him when he made eye contact, resigned to the fact that not only was I old enough to be his momma, he was a wild and free young beast that was on his way up in the world and I was someone's mom that really had nothing to offer someone like him, other than maybe a good time every now and then, and I wouldn't mind that if he was game.

The concert rocked hard for the full 2 hours and I was amazed at his endurance and his ability to work the crowd. I caught sight of my daughter and her friend during part of it and her eyes were firmly on him and I could see she was yelling something along the lines of, "I love you!" at him as he danced on the edge of the stage near her. I cringed a little, thinking about how really ticked off she would be at me if she knew I had violated her young rock star in the back of the car just prior to his being on stage, but I squashed those thoughts down because after all, she was jailbait and that was one non-negotiable issues with me. Finally the show ended and he made the announcement that they would be signing autographs at their merchandise table immediately afterwards. I sent daughter a text asking if she was going to get in line and I got back, " Yes, can I have debit card please with id?" I sighed, I knew this was going to cost me, but I texted her my location and covertly handed it over so she didn't have to even acknowledge she knew me. I sent her a text, "Get me a signed t-shirt too" and I kicked back on the banister, prepared to wait.

After an hour or so, I was half asleep and the crowd mostly gone when daughter and her friend finally texted me again, "Lets go" and I headed for the exit. I looked back at the table where they were sitting, still surrounded by fans and he looked up and grinned at me. I gave him a small salute and headed out to meet daughter and friend by the car.

"Oh gross! What the hell! Daughter was disgusted to find a condom on the ground next to the car door along with a few cigarette butts. "MOM! there is a condom over here!" I cringed inwardly, wishing I had found a different place to be able to get rid of it, but we were pressed for time and well, it was too late. "Well, don't touch it, just get in the car already, I want to get out of here before all the traffic breaks loose." Her and friend opened the back doors and went to get in and daughter immediately started sniffing, "What the hell is that smell! Oh my God it smells like smoke and sweat and B.O. and …" her friend interjected, "SEX!" How in the hell does my daughters best friend know what sex smells like? They started shuffling around in the back seat and then it became deadly silent as I pulled out of the parking space. I looked in the rearview and I saw daughter and friend looking at each other holding something in their hands. "What do you guys have?" Daughters voice sounded really strained as she said, "Mom, you need to pull the car over and look at this." I wasn't in a place where I could stop right away so I told her she was going to have to hang on until I got further on up Burnside, but once I got past all the traffic fiasco, I pulled into a well lit station and turned around to see what had struck daughter and her friend silent. I was never so glad for having a great poker face in my life because in my daughters hand was the wallet and harmonica and in her friends hand was my pack of cigarettes and an empty condom wrapper.

My daughter still believes I forgot to lock the car and that he had a random hookup in the back seat. She seemed oddly pleased that he had chosen our car to bestow such an feat upon. It didn't even register with her that I had vanished out of the venue for more than an hour before the show began, and I just happened to smoke the same brand of cigarettes that he smokes, and in a way that was a bit insulting, but I figured it was better she not know the truth. She tossed me my t-shirt when we got home to the apartment and she commented that the autograph was a "Little weird." She said that he had handled her purchase on his own and he seemed really interested in my id…uh ohh. I looked at the t-shirt and it said, "To Bella, Next Time Ill Bring the Cuffs J.W." I had a feeling he was going to be retrieving that wallet in person.


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N **_**Okay! you guys talked me into it, but im wanting some input from you. If this isn't up to par, I will pull it down and leave it as a one shot, but you guys who asked me to carry it on out need to let me know. I am not sure how far this can go, but as long as its fun, what the hell. Any resemblance to anyone is purely ya'lls perverse minds.**

If I had ever had a "Fuck My Life" moment, this had to be it, only it wasn't just a moment, It was my whole damn life! What the hell was I thinking, hooking up with some random little rock star in the back of my car in an alley? Not only could I have kissed my career goodbye if one we had been seen, but a rock star? Jesus wept! God knows where all that had been. I should probably look into getting vaccinated for everything known to man and animal! I was more than a little horrified at myself, and then to discover that I couldn't even make a clean getaway from the whole fiasco? Fuckity, Fuck, Fuck!

I confiscated the wallet and harmonica from the girls and set them on my dresser in my room. I knew I was going to have to get them back to him, but how to go about it without creating anymore attention to the fact that something may have gone on was the conundrum. Him being more than a little interested in my I.d. had me a bit worried. If daughter even remotely suspected that I had been involved in anything to do with him, she would freak the hell out, and the last thing I needed was a teenage freak out in full effect. She had finals approaching along with all the other typical teen drama, and she was hard enough to live with, I damn sure didn't need her mad at me for violating her favorite young rock star, plus what we had done went against everything and every value I had worked hard to instill in her, and I damn sure didn't want to hear the ,"Oh so its do as I say, not as I do", line all over again.

The girls were spending the night at the friends house so I was clear of them for the evening, and after a discussion over how gross I thought it was that they wanted to keep the condom wrapper and just where his hands may have been prior to opening that thing, they had flounced on into the friends house with their disgusting trophy and more than likely plans to try and clone him from some residual dna cells or something. I had debated driving back down to the bar to see if I could catch up with him and just return the items to him that way, but it was so damn late that I didn't want to risk being in that part of town on the remote chance he was still around. I opted for going through his wallet and hoping that he was one of the smart ones that actually had a, "If found please call" info card.

His wallet was typical boy. Crammed full of random junk with receipts from music stores, junk food places, pictures of a few girls and another young man, I thought he said he wasn't gay?), a wad of business cards, a few credit cards and some small bills in cash and his drivers license, but of course no contact card like I was hoping for, that would have been too damn easy. I debated running his drivers license for address and contact information, but then all those checks are recorded and if my Captain spotted that he would want to know why? and then all the questions would start and it would just get super complicated from there. I had to track the boy down on my own and the best way to do that I figured was to find his next venue and leave a message for him to call me. Little did I know that he was already working on tracking ME down.

It was late, I was tired and smelled a little funky from my encounter with him and then the concert, so I decided to grab a shower and scrub a layer of grunge off of myself before I went to bed. It was rare to have the apartment to myself. The goofy cat was of course laying right in the middle of my pillows with stinky, furry, butt most likely contaminating the very spot my face would be in short order, " Gee thanks you fuzzy bastard, too bad I cant have you re-neutered." He just stretched and rolled over and went back to what ever cat dreams he was dreaming and fuzzing up my pillow. I had to dig in the bottom of my closet to find my favorite pajama pants and sleep t-shirt, as part of daughters intervention had also been to try and either discard or shred all my grungy academy left over's that I liked to sleep in. I threatened to sleep naked and that got her to at least leave me one of my t-shirts, and I acquiesced to the pajama pants with monkey faces all over them, after all, its not like anyone ever saw them but me and my daughter. I don't normally smoke in the apartment, but the third time I walked past his wallet and harmonica on my dresser, I dug out my secret stash of smokes from its hidey hole under my bed and I lit one up as I stripped off my clothes in from of the washer. I knew I was going to have to air the apt out before daughter got home so I opened a window by my bed and by the front door, so that the smoke would be pulled out into the night. If I hadn't been so tired and distracted by the fucked up situation I was dealing with over my random hookup, I probably would have noticed the strange and frankly fugly, little car that had pulled into the parking lot across from my unit.

Nothing feels better than a nice hot shower when you want to wash away a little regret and misbehavior. I didn't regret the sex, after all, it was pretty damn good for a cheap and tawdry hook up in the back of my car in an alley, and I was feeling kinda smug, after all, I was 41 damned years old and while I may be in decent shape, things to tend to start the inevitable slide to the Southern hemisphere no matter what you do to stay fit. I had actually shaved my legs all the way up and plucked away any aberrant hairs and everything was operating as it should, so though I was probably going to be more than a little sore when I woke up in the morning, I was pretty damn happy that I had hit that tight little package like the angry fist of God and made him so addled that he looked like he had been hit pretty damn hard when he was on stage, and he had forgotten things that most boys never forget, especially in a strangers car.

Getting out of the shower I found that the damn cat had migrated to the bathroom and was now ensconced upon my towel, "Damn you Jack! How about I glue your balls back on and them pull them off slowly?" I shooed him off my towel and dried off, squeezing the worst of the water out of my hair and then wrapping the towel around my waist,(yeah, like guys do but again, home alone) as I hunted up my comb in the mess that was my bathroom counter. I don't know where all the crap on my counter came from, I operate on a very simple principal. I don't wear makeup, I keep my hair fairly short, usually not much past my shoulders and I don't do much with it other than tie it back with a pony tail, so all I should have on my counter is my toothbrush and paste and mouthwash, a comb or two, tweezers and soap, but on my counter there was all this other random crap that daughter kept insisting I should have, such as a hair dryer, curling iron, lotions and she had even tried to get me to wear make up from time to time, but when I reminded her that I had just gotten my adult onset acne under control and had no desire to have a repeat breakout, she left me the hell alone because I was a less than pleasant person to be around when I was broken out like a pubescent teen.

I heard the tell tale growl from my cell phone that let me know someone had sent me a message so I dropped the wet towel in the bathroom and walked into the living room where I had left it on the coffee table. I smirked when I saw it, it was my Captain, once again being a smart ass, " Saw news, no reports of riot at concert because of rock stars being arrested so guess you behaved ?" I muttered to myself, "You are such a dick!" I really didn't think he was a dick, in all actuality I really liked the guy and he was pretty good to work for, but he loved to tease me about being so much of a "Grouch." Daughter liked him quite a bit and had often hinted that she would approve of me dating him, but sadly I strongly suspected he was like so many other men of Portland and batted for the other team. He had moved here from Arizona after something had gone on down there, and I often saw him in the company of a younger looking man, but what the hell did I know? I texted him back with a terse, " No riot because I stuffed him in the trunk and he's now tied to my bed and gagged." I knew that would make him spit his coffee all over his phone. It wasn't 5 minutes later as I was in the kitchen brewing a cup of what I referred to as 'hippy tea" but the daughter insists is called "Chai" that my cell phone went off again . " Haha! Please tell me you are joking, if not, at least leave no marks that can be traced and have fun." That one made me snort, he would condone me getting some by any means necessary. So I responded with our traditional, "10-4, see you Monday" and headed back into the kitchen to get my tea.

Jack came shooting out of my bedroom like his ass was on fire and did his best to tangle between my naked legs as I was walking with my hot tea towards my bedroom, causing me to spill some it on the damn floor and making me cuss and threaten him once again, "Goddamn you Jack! I will turn your ass into a fur football if you don't stow your shit and find someplace to be other than up my butt!" I added a bunch of other expletives to go with it as I walked back into the kitchen to get a towel, still naked mind you, to clean up the floor as the damn cat tried to sneak a drink out of my cup while I wasn't paying attention. "You rotten little punk! That's it, I am re-neutering you in the morning I swear to God!" I threw the towel at him in an attempt to scare him out of my tea, but of course it hit my cup and knocked it off the table and spilled my tea all over the floor. I am sure that the curse words I uttered are still floating around out in the atmosphere over Portland, as I cursed the cat, my luck, hippy tea, my crappy aim and just life in general. I grabbed the towel and sopped up the worst of it and then just decided to say, "Fuck it" and go to bed, but as I was walking from the kitchen back through the living room I realized that the window by the door was still open, so I intended to just reach around the blind and slam it down, that was before I heard someone moving around on my front porch.

Naked…yeah. Not exactly the best way to be when you hear someone creeping around your place in the wee hours of the morning, but looking at the bright side of things, being naked would provide a distraction that would allow me to get the drop on them and take them down pretty quick, and if they were creeping my porch at 2am in the morning, they were going to go down, and hard. I kept bitching at the cat as I moved so I could get a better look at my porch with out letting them know I was on to them being out there. I could see a shape to the right side of my door, in between the window and the opening, so when I struck, it was going to have to be fast. I didn't see anybody else outside, so I figured they were alone and if they were someone just being a creeper, I wanted to find out who the hell they were without the whole circus getting involved, so I decided to act , get them under control, question them my way for a bit and then call in the goon squad to deal with them. I kept a PR 24 baton by the front door for just such a situation, and as I eased the lock open on the door, I made sure I had a good grip on it in preparation for what I was about to unleash on the fool on my porch.

I jerked the door open quickly and rapidly stepped through the opening, and swung the baton, striking the intruder along their femoral nerve and dropping them like a sack of potatoes. I grabbed them in a arm bar so they couldn't use their arms and their head was forced down and I leaned forward and caught their ear in my teeth,(yes, its barbaric, but it works to get someone's attention really damn quick) you can still growl at them and be understood and put the hurtin on them if need be. I have seen grown assed me about cry like babies when I have had them like this and this punk ass was no different, except…he was kinda familiar. He wasn't very big, smelled kinda smokey and sweaty and …was a bit scruffy. I let go of his ear. " What the fuck are you doing creeping around my front porch at two o'clock in the morning, do you like getting the crap kicked out of you or are you just a lazy masochist?" He was groaning a bit and I realized I still had him in the arm bar, so I released him and tried to help him up, but he wasn't going to be using his leg for a little bit because the nerve strike had rendered it numb.

I got him under the arms and drug him into my house and shut the door telling him, 'Stay put, I am going to go put some clothes on and then we will take a look at your owie." I didn't know if I was pissed off, freaked out or relieved that the kid had found my place. That meant I would be able to get his stuff back to him with no problem other than the fact I had just crippled him up, but that was to be expected and he kinda deserved it for lurking around my door without knocking! Right? I mean I was justified? Hell, he was lucky he didn't get shot, he knew I was a cop and he was creeping in the dark. Crap! I still felt bad for whacking the boy as hard as I did, because he was going to have a hell of a bruise. I walked back out into my living room to find him still slouched on the floor like someone had killed his favorite puppy. "What's the matter there Sparky?" He looked up at me with this look…oh my God if they bottled it and sold it, no woman would be safe from him forever, and he said, "Well, I'm waiting for the cops to arrive because I'm going to jail for being a peeping Tom or some crap like that." Oh mylanta! The boy thought I was having him arrested? I had to laugh at that one. " No sugar, I am not having you arrested, I think getting the crap kicked out of you for a second time tonight is more than enough justice for creeping around my door in the dark when you were probably just after your wallet and harmonica?"

He breathed a sigh of relief and I reached down to help him up to his feet. He still couldn't put any weight on the leg I had hit, but I helped him down the hall to my bathroom so I could take a look at the bruise and see if there was anything to be done for him besides some Tylenol and ice. I leaned him up against the counter and told him, "You are gonna have to drop your pants so I can take a look at where I hit you , o.k.?" he blushed a little and hesitated and ill tell you that was so damn cute I about went 'Aww" but instead I said, "Really? After what we did in the back seat of my car, and some of the stuff you sing, seeing me naked wandering around my house for God knows how long, NOW you blush?" He chuckled a little and started unbuckling his belt while I went to the kitchen to get a bag of frozen corn from the freezer, (no peas in my house, cant stand the damn things), and when I got back he was leaning there trying to balance with his pants around his knees, one leg numb and his hands covering his steak and taters. I swear I about busted out laughing at the sheer ridiculousness of the situation, but he looked pretty damn shaky once he saw just how big of a welt and bruise he had. " You okay there Sparky?" He nodded, but I didn't really believe him, so I set the bag of corn down and put a hand on his shoulder and made him look me in the eyes. He had some damn pretty eyes, and I was surprised that I was starting to see what all the little tweens found so damn interesting about the boy. "Look, you are as pale as a ghost, why don't you sit down on the commode and lets get those boots and jeans off and I will get you some Tylenol and a something to drink." I helped him over to the closed lid and sat him down on a towel I put down for him,(im not a totally heartless bitch), and I went and got him some Tylenol and a glass of water. It was going on 3 am by this time and my ass was starting to drag, and he was looking a might bit less bouncy himself, so since I wasn't expecting daughter back until Sunday night, and no one was due over, I figured I might as well see if the boy wanted to just get some damn sleep and see if he could walk in the morning, but I was going to make him scrub up first. Little did I know he already would have the answer to my question when I walked back into my bathroom.

He was slumped there with his head tilted back, buck ass naked and sound ass asleep. Well, hell! I couldn't just throw his tired ass out into the street like that, and I wasn't about to torture him any more, so I went to my bed and pulled the covers down and tossed Jack to the floor. I gently started pulling him up, and even though he was pretty out of it and tired, I managed to get him shuffled over to the bed and I just tucked his butt in. I got his clothes out of my bathroom and emptied the pockets onto my dresser, making sure that he didn't have anything that he shouldn't have, (that chimp picture made me wonder about his habits), and then I went and tossed them in the washer with my clothes so he would have a fresh start in the morning. I put his cell phone so he could find it easy and then I crawled in on the other side and passed the hell out.

Waking up the next morning was probably the weirdest thing I have experienced in a while, I had a cat on my head, and a boy draped over the top of me, with his naked bits poking me in the backside. I could tell by the way he was breathing that he was still sound asleep, so I didn't hold it against him, while the cat I was defiantly annoyed at. I started moving slowly and working my way out from underneath him, and I managed to slide off the side of the bed without waking him up, in fact all he did was grunt and mutter and roll up in the blankets tighter and begin to snore, typical male! I wandered down to daughters end of the house and used her bathroom to tend to my morning business, and I found a pair of her jeans and a t-shirt that fit, so I got dressed and then went and threw his clothes in the dryer with some softener sheets. It was close to 10 am and I had no idea if he had to be anywhere, but I really wasn't planning on changing too much from my typical Saturday schedule so I opened my laptop and got it started booting up and went into the kitchen to make coffee and some breakfast. I found a pack of real bacon I had managed to sneak in past daughter as well as some real eggs, so I started the bacon to cooking as I poured myself a cup of coffee and debated whether or not to wake him up, but I need not have debated too long, because I heard him say as I turned around from the cabinets, " So I am guessing your laptop is where you keep your spank bank, huh?" He was standing in the living room buck naked, leaned up against the couch watching the screensaver on my laptop as his image along with those of a few other well known men, rotated slowly though.

'You would be correct , young man. Would you like a cup of coffee and maybe some pants? Your own pants are in my dryer, but I probably have a pair of sweats or something that will work for you." He gestured to himself and said, "Well, I don't mind, but what will the neighbors think?" I had to laugh at that one, my neighbors on both sides were gay, one was an older couple that had been together for years and the other was a young gay man that was painfully adorable and shy that I flirted with constantly just to see him blush, so I told him, "You would probably make their week walking about naked, they bat for the home team. How is your leg this morning?" He grimaced and turned so he was facing me and I have to say the first words out of my mouth should have been "Ouch!" but hoping to diffuse what was probably an already uncomfortable situation, I said, "Wow! That's a whopper!" He blushed and then we both said, "That's what she said!" and then, "Jinx you owe me a soda!" but then he laughingly cringed ,'Please don't punch me!" That made me laugh as I brought him his coffee. 'Relax, Im gonna go get you some pants, unless you want to go get a shower first while im cooking you some food?" He said he thought a shower sounded like a good idea, but he wanted to call his buddies and let them know he wasn't tied to my bed and unable to get away,(yet), so he was going to do that first. I laid him out a towel and a pair of sweat pants that I had left over from an ex from a long time ago and I went back to the kitchen to finish cooking and give him some privacy.

By the time he came limping back up the hall, I had him a plate made up and another cup of coffee waiting on him. " I am hoping you aren't a vegetarian, because if you are, then you are gonna have to have cereal because I cooked the eggs in bacon grease." He looked like a kid on Christmas morning, " You actually cook like a real person?" I looked at him like he was a might bit teched, " Dude, Im a Texan too, I know we didn't talk to much the other night between the body slamming and the well…body slamming, but that thing I said about being chief cook and bottle washer? yeah, I cook for myself and my daughter pretty much every day." He looked around , " So where is your daughter, the reason I was waiting on your porch was I was trying to figure out if she had gone to bed or where she was so there wouldn't be too many difficult um uh.. questions to answer?" I told him that I really appreciated that because yeah, I didn't really want my teen daughter to know I had boned her favorite young rock star in the back of my car, but I did tell him that she had been the one to find the wallet and harmonica and condom wrapper as well as the cigarettes. He groaned over that one, "I wondered where those had gone!" "Yeah, dude that was a brand new pack too and she probably has them in a little shrine along with the condom wrapper."

Looking at him over breakfast and coffee was the last thing I expected to be doing and I told him as much, " So where are you headed out to next, I would have figured you to be well on the road to the next venue by now. I was planning on contacting your publicist today to see where to Fed Ex your stuff to you so you wouldn't be without it too long." He smiled and said " Actually we are going to be in Portland for the next few weeks, I have to reshoot some of the my movie so we are going to hole up here and do some shows off and on and just relax for a bit." Huh…I was not expecting him to say that at all.


	3. Chapter 3

So he was going to be in town for a few weeks? That created an interesting array of possibilities, but I didn't want to get my hopes up that what had happened between us was more than just a once in a lifetime, quickie, boots knocking that cleared both of our sinuses and let off some stress. I wouldn't mind a repeat in a place where we could actually stretch out and explore things, but considering that I had brutalized his young hide in several ways, the poor guy was probably wanting nothing more than to escape my house alive and with the stuff he came to reclaim. I got up to get him some more coffee and I noticed he had already scarfed down the plate I made him, so I brought over the skillet and spooned the rest of it onto his plate and told him, "Finish it up, you could use a little meat on your bones to help keep your pants up on your ass, I noticed they tend to slide down quite a bit when you are up on stage." He grinned at me and said, " Soo, you were looking at my butt?" I just gave him a look that said, "Duh". He ate like it was his last meal and then brought his plate over to the sink and rinsed it off. I was a bit surprised, the boy was housebroken.

He sat down to finish his coffee and then asked, " So what are you doing today?" I didn't know what to say without sounding like a total misanthrope, but I figured the truth was the best way to go, " I usually spend my Saturday just relaxing around the house, doing any reports that need doing, housework or catching up on any DVR'd movies I missed, or sometimes I have trainings for the SWAT team or I just go to the gym for a few hours." He seemed to be contemplating things for a moment and then he looked at me and said, "So would you like some company for today, if your daughter isn't going to be home?" I about choked to death on my coffee, if he was offering what I think he was offering, I was about to have the Saturday to end all Saturdays and I was hopefully going to have it without injuring him any worse than I already had.

"Aren't you scared your gonna get hurt more hanging around with me, after all, I am not the easiest of people to be around and you have to bruises to prove it." It was true! looking at him in the morning light, I could see he had my teeth marks in the top of his ear, a light bruise and scrape on his cheek and chin, his elbows were scraped up, and he had an array of bruises up and down his arms where I had roughed him up. We wont even discuss the whopper of a bruise on his thigh and the scratches I left on his back. " "You are a masochist aren't you?" He laughed and said, "Maybe, but maybe I just enjoyed myself and thought you did to and if that's the case, then why not enjoy ourselves a little more?" I couldn't fault his logic and damn, just thinking about the things the boy could do with his hips brought the shivers to me. "Well, it is going to be awhile before your clothes are dry, so I don't see any reason to shove you out the door right away and im not expecting daughter home until Sunday evening, so you are welcome to stay as long as you want, I figure fellas like you are kinda like stray cats, you feed em, you are stuck with em for a bit, but I promise to try and not rough you up too much." I set my plate in the sink and told him I was going to go and take a shower, he was welcome to use the phone or watch tv or whatever while I cleaned up and found my own clothes, because daughter hated it when I wore her jeans and I wanted to get them in the wash and clean before she found out.

I had to suppress a desire to squee like a tween as I walked down the hall to my bedroom. I was doing an internal happy dance because I knew I was gonna be getting some! I figured I better scrub up good and hit the high spots again with a razor just in case, God knows at my age things decide to go wacky and grow all over the damn place, and that was just unpleasant. I had just finished up with the razor and was enjoying a nice leisurely soak under the hot spray when I heard him come into the bathroom. I froze thinking that while shower sex might sound like fun in theory, in practice it often resulted in running out of hot water before things got accomplished and after a nasty fall that left bruises that were really hard to explain, during my last relationship, I had veered away from it, but I knew he was standing there, right outside the curtain as if he was trying to decide what to do, so I decided to make up his mind for him, I reached down and shut the water off and opened the curtain to find him standing there, naked with a towel in his hands.

" Kinky! Is this a role-playing thing? Are you my towel boy? , if so, I like it." He handed me the towel and as I dried off he took another towel off the rack and began to gently pat down my back and places he could reach. Truthfully it was pretty damn hot, and I found myself getting more than a little turned on, so I turned so he had access to the front of me and I had access to the front of him. He had a nice body, not to muscely and overdone, not too skinny, but in the middle and tight. He had a nice array of tattoos that all looked well done and not too cliché for a Hollywood type of guy. I could see he was checking out my tattoos and scars as well, and when he reached up and traced the one at the base of my neck I answered the question I knew was coming, "Straight razor from a meth'ed up angry ex, a long time ago." His eyes got a little big at that one, but I decided it was time to put an end to any talking and I ran my fingers down his chest to his happy trail, and that was the end of his questions. I just wanted to touch him all over, so, I did and he did the same. We slammed together like a couple of wild animals going at each other and everything on my bathroom counter got shoved either to the floor or to the back as he lifted me up and set my ass on the edge of the counter, and before I could say anything he was between my legs and then OH. MY. GOD. HE WAS IN ME and going for it like a jackrabbit on speed. It felt so damn good I think I went blind for a minute or two and he had a hold of my legs and was doing some kind of thrust with a twist that just had me seeing stars, I swear I lost my mind. We were grunting and rutting like we had lost our damn minds and then he all of the sudden stiffened and thrust so hard that I know I felt a molar come loose, and I knew he had just come, and ill be damned if didn't follow right along with him.

When we could finally both breathe again, I reached over and grabbed a towel to wrap around me and I handed one to him as he started nuzzling and kissing around my ear and down my neck. I swear the boy was possessed or something because he had just put it to me like he was running a race to win it, and it felt like he was trying to start it up again. He wrapped his arms around me and kept working on my neck and kissing me as I was trying to clear my head and think, but he had some kind of voodoo going on, because he shoved the door open and we ended up stumbling across the room to my bed where he went back to work on me, using his hands, and whatever else he happed to think of, to not just rock my world, he turned it upside down, slapped it on the ass and left it wondering just what kind of meteor had struck it? Three years of sexual frustration came out and I did things with that boy that I haven't done since I was in my early 20's. He was flexible, and oh so energetic and vocal and he had the dirtiest mouth,(who knew I would find that sexy?) We didn't stop for lunch, we didn't stop for dinner, we finally stopped when I passed the hell out sometime around midnight, I think. I lost track of time with all the kissing and touching and exploring and mayhem that was going on in my bedroom. It was so wild that Jack didn't even venture into my room to bitch at me about his lack of dinner. We fell asleep wrapped up in each other and the remains of the bed, sticky and sweaty and exhausted. I woke up the next day covered with a blanket, to find him gone.

Waking up was surreal. Everything that had gone on came flashing through my mind and I realized that I must have lost my everloving mind because I had engaged in hours and hours of unprotected sex with a young rock star. What the hell was he thinking? What the hell was I thinking? He had an excuse , he's a guy and guys think with their little heads more than their big heads about half the damn time, but I had not fucking excuse at all. I was a grown assed woman and I KNEW better. Holy shit! I was in it for sure now. My personal belief system didn't allow for anything like the morning after pill, though I was more than okay with taking other women to get it when they had been assaulted against their will, but I had done this oh so willingly. Disease was also a fear and I was just screwed six different way from Sunday.

I needed to get my ass outta bed and see if he had left a note or anything, and then I needed to clean up the disaster that was my bedroom before daughter got home and realized that I had been up to a little sumptin sumptin. I found my pjama pants and a t-shirt and went wandering through the house. It was clear he was gone, the dryer was open and the clothes that had been in it were neatly folded on top, with his gone. Jack had actually been fed so that was why he had not come bitching at me to get up. The dishes were in the washer and the house was mostly in order, the only thing that was a total disaster was my bedroom. I didn't find any note or anything, so I walked back into my bedroom to see if there was anything on the dresser, but not even there. He had actually just come and gone.

I was kinda bummed and a little stressed out to find him gone without so much as a note. I opened my phone to see that he had typed a note into it that said, "Had 2go2 wrk. Took ur#s u have mine, use them. CUL8R J" Luckily I can read text speak thanks to having a teen daughter and from dealing with translating drug dealers texts and messages over the years. I was relieved to have his contact information, but I wasn't planning on calling him right up. I needed to clean up the evidence of my debauchery and then get a shower and my game face on before my daughter got home as well as the fact I needed to either be doing some serious finger crossing to all the deities that women had prayed to over the centuries when they didn't want lasting evidence of their messing around. Its not that I was totally anti-baby or anything like that, but at 41 years old with my kid within sight of the door and my career as a cop and SWAT team member as well as the fact it would send a hell of a message to my daughter if her mom got knocked up from a 2 night stand with HER favorite rock star…it was knee weakening and all I could do was look at the calendar and hope like hell that the numbers added up to at least the rhythm method working in my favor.

Fuuuuck! That was all I could say. My timing could not have been worse. His timing could not have been worse, our timing could not have been worse! Fuck! I just got in the shower and tried to wash away all the evidence and funk and then soak my head while I contemplated the implications of everything. Yes, it may seem like I am the last woman in the world not on birth control, but when you are a smoker and you aren't having regular sex, its like, 'Why bother?" so I hadn't for a long time and now that was going to bite me in the ass. After I got out of the shower and dried off, I realized that not only did I leave a mark on him, he had left more than a few marks on me, I had hickeys! I swore and hoped his cute ears were burning off his head where ever he was because I not only had hickeys on my breasts, and both collarbones, he had also managed to give me one on my neck! What the hell, was the boy a damn vampire? I was fully intending to put a boot in his young ass if I ever saw him again. I was going to have to wear some concealer, if I could find any in the house and definitely wear collared shirts.

Stripping the bed was embarrassing. It looked and smelled like something out of a porn movie and I was glad I had woken up before daughter got home. I got the sheets and the blankets into the wash and then I even rotated the mattress around just in case. I wiped down the bedside tables and the dresser and then I went in and cleaned my bathroom, especially the counter, and put everything back the way it was before the great sex debacle. I dug out a fresh set of sheets and got them on and made the bed up except for the blankets and then I went to get some idea of what I was cooking for dinner, trying to keep things business as usual though I knew I was going to be in full freak out mode for at least the next two weeks, or until I could start taking tests to find out if I was taking my shotgun and hunting down the young rock star.


	4. Chapter 4

Daughter didn't seem to notice anything awry when she got home and I tried to go on about my business without stressing over what had gone on too much. I didn't call him, and he didn't call me. I figured he had made his escape after we had both gotten a little crazy and he was probably just as freaked out about as I was, so I wasn't going to fuel any fires for anything until I knew one way or another. The Captain was the only person who seemed to realize that something was up with me. I caught him staring at me in a meeting Monday afternoon and I gave him my "WTF?" sneer and flipped him off, and he very casually reached up and scratched his neck in the exact location where I had the hickey on my neck! Fuck! the concealer had worn off and he could see the faint shadow of the hickey on my damn neck and I knew I was in for it the minute the meeting broke. I tried to bail as soon as the meeting was over, but curse his damn long legs! He was right next to me before I could make it to the safety of my office and he had a "I just fucked the neighbors cat" look that said he was dying to let the teasing begin. ' Just get it over with, you know you want to !" He grinned like his face was going to split, and he said, " Why Swan, you would think that someone bearing evidence of finally luring some poor soul back to their lair, would be a little more jovial about it, so do tell? Is the poor soul still alive?" I sighed and just looked at him, it really was a shame he was probably gay, he was so damn handsome and had a wicked sense of humor, " You know, a lady doesn't kiss and tell." he laughed at me and said, " But Swan, we are talking about YOU!, so who was it ? Somebody we know?" I thought about it and figured what the hell, if I tell him the truth he is NEVER going to believe it, to I went with it. " Actually, it was the 25 year old lead singer of the band we went to see, I assaulted him in the parking lot and he followed me home after getting my info off my ID when my daughter bought a t-shirt for me. I heard him on my front porch around 2 am so I jerked the door open naked, whacked him with my pr24 and then drug him in to my apartment. He was exhausted and a little stunned, so I tucked him into my bed until the next day when he awoke and we went at each other like a pair of wild monkeys. I woke up Sunday afternoon to find him gone and the only remaining proof I have of him was this mark on my neck which leads me to believe he may be a vampire." The Captain looked down at me with his mouth hanging open and then he just snorted and said, "Damn Swan, if you really didn't want to tell me, you could have just said fuck off." I said to him, 'With all due respect Cowboy, fuck off" and with that I went into my office and shut the door.

The week seemed to drag, and I resisted the urge to call or text him several times, and I wondered if he was dealing with the same thoughts, but then I realized, what the fuck was I thinking, he was a guy and was probably already onto the next piece of ass. Daughter had mentioned that his band was going to be playing two nights a week at a local bar and she asked if she could attend one of the shows, but I used the, "Its finals time and you need to be studying." line to get her to drop it. She wasn't happy with me, but she knew I was right. I had followed his activities on the web as best I could, and saw he was in Portland still though I imagined he was not anywhere that was readily accessible to random people. I made an very dreaded appointment with my doctor and went in and had a very frank talk with her about what had gone down and how many times. She initially gave me a fist bump,(she's my age and single as well), but when I told her about the following days activities, she smacked me in the back of the head and gave me a "What the fuck were you thinking?" along with an exam so thorough she now knows me better than God, and orders for every test for STD's known to man as well as a blood pregnancy test. "What are you going to do if you are pregnant, you do know all the risks involved with that at your age don't you?" Oh yeah, as if I didn't have enough stress to keep me up at nights, I knew exactly the risks to not only myself, but to any fetus. I left the office lighter a whole lot of blood and my co-pay, went to go home and worry until I got the call about the lab results sometime in the next week.

I got called out over the weekend on a SWAT standby and there is nothing like laying for 6 hours in the rain trying to keep the sights on your rifle unfogged while you wait for a clear shot and the order to shoot or stand down on some guy who has decided that he was going to ruin every ones weekend. After it was over, we all went out for choir practice at Kells, but due to my undetermined status, I didn't drink anything but soda and this did not go unnoticed by my ever observant Captain. I saw him eyeing me from across the booth as his friend and I chatted about Texas and places we had in common,(oh my God his friend was too cute!) but I just gave him the sneer again and asked him what his problem was? " You always have a whiskey after a no shoot, how come you are breaking with tradition tonight Swan?" I tried to think fast and luckily the Captains young and cute friend came to my rescue, " Well isn't the gal allowed to turn over a new leaf? maybe she's trying to cut back a little on the boozing, that wouldn't hurt any of us to try." I about kissed him in gratitude, but instead I said, " Yeah, my kid has been on my case about my drinking so I have been cutting back." He looked a bit skeptical, but then he got distracted when his friend put his hands under the table and I decided that I had the perfect escape time, so I excused myself and headed out to my car and home.

Daughter was over at her friends hour again for the weekend so I planned to spend the evening cleaning and drying out my soaked gear that was currently fermenting in the back of my car. I was dragging tactical gear bag out and my rifle when I noticed the strange, fugly little car sitting across the parking lot. I just figured that young, gay neighbor finally had met someone and I headed on into my apartment. My gear was soaked, as were my BDU's so I was stripping by the front door with the intention of throwing as much as possible in the washer and my cold butt in a hot shower. I tossed my boots over towards the drying rack and headed down the hall to grab some towels so I could lay my rifle out to dry. It couldn't be allowed to sit in the case with any water on it, so I was planning on field stripping it and laying it out while I went and showered. I was in my underwear and a wife beater with my rifle in my hands when I heard a knock on the door. I wasn't expecting any company, its 1100 at night and Im in my unders so they were getting the me with the rifle treatment.

I jerked the door open and low and behold there stood my little rock star looking like he didn't know whether to run or put up his hands. "What are you doing here?" His eyes got really big as he looked at the rifle and then at me in my underwear, and he said, "Please don't shoot me, I came to ask why you aren't returning my calls?" I looked at him standing on my porch looking like he was about to piddle himself and I was a bit confused, " You haven't called me at all. I figured you had just moved on to greener pastures and were done." "That's not true, I called you that night, and at least once a day since then, I have left you message after message and after I saw you on the news over the standoff, I figured I was going to come and find out just what the hell was going on, Look!" He pulled out his cell phone and started pulling up his sent texts and he showed me text after text asking me to call him, all send to a phone number that had the last two digits of mine transposed. "Are you dyslexic?" He looked at me stunned, "I was sending them to the wrong number?" "Ya think there , Sparky?" His face fell and he looked like he was pretty bummed. 'Jeeze, come on in, I don't assaulting my neighbors with my girly bits more than once a year, otherwise they might get upset and move, and I kinda like them.

He came in and I told him to have a seat while I took care of my rifle and gear real quick, so I went ahead and field stripped the rifle and got it wiped down and airing out, and the rest of my gear laid out in the mud room to dry while he watched like he had never seen anything like that before. I made small talk with him while I debated bringing up my worries, but considering I wouldn't know anything until at least the next week, I decided on just keeping it to myself until I knew there was something to worry about. It wasn't as if he was going to be making any big difference in my situation one way or the other, he was a rock star and an actor so essentially just an overgrown kid himself. I had already raised one child on my own and I didn't need a man around for anything, and I didn't need his money because truthfully, I didn't think he had that much. He was a bit player, his band was fairly small and unknown though they had a loyal and rabid following of devoted fans. He was obviously allowed to wander about without a security detail, and he always looked a bit grungy, so I figured he was doing okay for a young, single, guy, but probably not as good as I was, so either way I didn't need him, though I kinda enjoyed his company, if he freaked the hell out about things, I wouldn't force him.

He was sitting on the floor near me, watching me work on my gear, being pretty quiet when all of the sudden he asked, "So why didn't you call me?" to which I replied, "You are a Texan aren't you?" he nodded, " Were you taught that it was proper for a woman to go chasing after a man?" he shook his head. I told him that I had been on my own for so damn long that I was used to being alone and that it really didn't surprise me to find him gone and when I hadn't heard back from him after a few days I had just chalked it up to a good time was had by all but that all good things must end and that being he was a pretty wild and free young man, he had probably moved on to the next notch on his guitar, it wasn't a big deal, it was just the way things worked and I was okay with it. "If I hadn't been, I would have hunted you down and whooped up on you again, we both know I could have," I said with a laugh. He shook his head and said, " You have me all wrong, I don't just go around sleeping with everybody that wants me to , because if I did, I wouldn't ever get anything else done." I laughed at that comment, and said, "Yeah, I have read your fans comments and stuff, you would have no problem getting pretty much any woman, girl, man or whatever to put out for you I have a feeling, you got those eyes and dimples going on in all kinds of wrong ways." He shook his head, "But its like having lobster, the first few times its really freaking awesome and you want to have lobster just because you can, and then you have it just to show off, but after awhile, it gets really to be just like everything else and you miss the things that you used to have, home cooking and the normal things in life." I had to laugh at him just a little, leave it to a boy to come up with a food allegory for sex and I just had to tease him about it, "So its really kinda funny that you compare all the random sex you are able to have to a fishy tasting crustacean and what we did as home cooking and normal." I got done sorting out my gear and found myself just leaning back against the couch talking to him, I finally remembered my manners and went and got him a beer and myself a cup of chai claiming that I was still on call, and we talked though an entire 12 pack of beer and into the wee hours of the morning. He became increasingly funnier and more handsy as he downed more beer and before to long we were making out like a couple of teens on the floor of my living room.

Even drunk the boy was pretty damn good at what he did, and I was damn sure enjoying not being alone. He seemed to be trying to take his time and make it less of a mad rutting than the last time, and I wasn't sure how I felt about that, I really wasn't looking to get involved with anyone, especially some boy that was almost young enough to be my son, and who could possibly be on the rise in a career that would draw attention to me that I really didn't want or need. All I wanted was a fun time, and if there was a complication arising out of what we had done the other night, his signature on the paperwork signing away his rights, other than that, he was free to roam about the country and let me get on with my life without some man wanting to hang around and complicate things. I don't think I had even referred to him by his given name once, and that was just in an effort to keep my distance and keep it simple. Unnnngh, oh Goood lord the boy was soo talented with those hands! I could keep the hands. That part was wearing me down and could quite possibly be the nick in my armor. He was doing his level best to …and there we go, I'm totally undressed again and he's got his jeans down. How the hell does he do that? He moved so damn fast that I swear he had to be double jointed or something because that just wasn't normal. In for a penny in for a pound, we ended up spending most of the rest of the night contaminating the carpet in my living room and my couch and then migrating to my bedroom before the beer finally caught up with him and he fell asleep wrapped up around me like he wasn't ever going to let go.

He looked all sweet asleep like that, and I found my stone, cold heart melting just a little bit looking at him in the half-light of my room. He had wonderful cheekbones and eyelashes that women would commit homicide over. His hair was thick and soft with a nice curl to it that made it perfect to tangle your hands in for all kinds of perverse reasons, and he had the fullest and most kissable lips that I have ever found on a man. He actually would have made a really pretty girl and wouldn't have lasted 2 minutes in jail without being someone's girlfriend with his slender build. I don't know if I was having a hormonal moment or what the hell was going on with me, perhaps the infamous mid-life crisis that I have heard so much about, but I found myself cuddling him up and contentedly drifting off to sleep.

I heard voices. Not only did I hear voices, it was full on day light which tells me that I had slept waay past what I normally slept and my phone was not in the room with me so I didn't have my alarm clock. He was still out like a light and snoring softly in my ear. I laid still, listening to the voices trying to tell who the hell was in my house, and then I realized I recognized both the voices. My Captain was in my house! He had a key because he often took care of Jack when I went to trainings and I had a key to his place, but why in the hell would he be in my house this morning of all mornings? I was a little pissed off and a lot freaked out. I was busted with the evidence of my misdeeds wrapped around me like a drunken sloth. I worked to gently extricate myself from him without waking him up and then I started hunting up a pair of pants and a shirt. Getting dressed and running my fingers through my hair to tame the worst of the tangles, I covered his goods up and slipped from the room, hoping that he stayed asleep while I handled the intruders in my living room. I stalked down the hall like an angry lion and sure enough I found the Captain sitting in my recliner while his friend nudged the young rock stars cowboy boots with the toe of his boot, looking like he wanted to be anywhere but in my living room at that particular moment. "Just what the fuck do you think you are doing in my living room on my day off?" The Captain looked up and grinned at me like he knew he had just found out the answer to all the secrets of the universe. 'Well Swan, we came by to take you to breakfast and when we knocked on the door, it popped open because somebody forgot to secure it last night, I wonder, perhaps you were a bit distracted?" He nudged the pair of jeans that lay inside out on the floor by his foot with the toe of his boot, and it was then I noticed he had a wallet in his hand, the same damn wallet that had started this entire fiasco.


	5. Chapter 5

I was busted. The Captain had already gone through the wallet, I knew him well enough that I knew he was well aware that the story I had told him he thought was a bluff was in all actuality the truth and he fully intended to gain his full measure of teasing from it. " Soo Swan, a 25 year old rock star huh? Wow! Did he come willingly or did you really toss him in the trunk of your car and drag his young ass in here?" I reached to grab the wallet out of his hands but he stood up and held it up out of my reach as his friend just shook his head and sighed. " Man she is going to kick your ass if you keep on. You better play nice and stop harassing her." The Captain started walking around the apartment picking up things and acting as if her were looking for evidence of a crime, 'So tell me Swan, where is he? Where are your cuffs? Do we need to call out SWAT to rescue the poor kid?" about that time I heard a voice from behind me and I knew that the jig was really up because there, in the hallway, stood the real evidence of my insanity in all his naked glory. " I ain't no kid and you need to give the lady the wallet before somebody gets hurt."

Naked always has the effect of stunning people for a moment, and him standing there naked was no different. He didn't have anything in his hands except his steak and taters and I had no idea what he thought he was going to do considering that the Captain towered above him by at least a foot and his friend may have been the same size as him, but he was an ex-Marine and a fully trained cop, so unless I got my young rock star to settle his ass down, he could have seriously gotten spanked up. The Captain looked him up and down appraisingly and then looked at me, and busted out laughing. "Swan, Swan, Swan! Niiiiiiccce! He did survive!" He tossed me the wallet and then picked up the young rock stars jeans and tossed them to him and said, " Why don't you put some britches on and join us for breakfast and you can regale us with the story of how you survived your encounter with the Swan." I flipped him off and gathered up his boots for him and my stray bits as the Captain and his friend went into my kitchen to make coffee. I explained to young rock star who they were and what he had missed and I could tell he was feeling more than just a little out of his element. "You don't have to go with us if you don't want to, you can escape with no problem." He looked at me like I was crazy, "Of course I want to go with you, im sure you are going to be dealing with a ration of shit and I am not the type to leave you to deal with that on your own. They don't seem too bad." I laughed at him as I warned him that they really weren't bad guys at all, but that they would be relentless in teasing him about being with me. He jumped in the shower as I went back out to the kitchen to see what they were up to. The Captain and his friend were sitting at my table like a review board, and I told them that they had 5 minutes while he was in the shower. The Captain lead the interrogation, "How did you meet him?" "Just like I said." The Captains eyes widened at that one, "You actually hit him?" I told him about how he had stepped out on in in the parking lot, though I left out the bit about how our first hook up was in the back of my car. "So are you like seeing each other now?" I rolled my eyes at him over that one, " Cowboy, how long have you known me? I don't play well with others and he is not in town for long. He's got a career that takes him all over the Goddamned world and I am a cop in Portland, what the fuck to you think?" the Captain chuckled, "So you are just using him for sex?" 'I am not using him for anything, I happen to enjoy his company, but when he leaves, he leaves and I go back to my life and he goes back to his life, all I have to do is keep this on the down low so my daughter doesn't find out and kill me in my sleep for violating the object of her affection." Both the Captain and his friend busted out laughing at that one, and I heard the shower shut off, so I went to take him a cup of coffee.

He looked fantastic all dripping wet with a towel wrapped around his waist, and if I didn't have two chuckleheads in my kitchen I would have probably violated him again, but I gave him the coffee and a fresh t-shirt that I had in my closet so he didn't have to wear all the same clothes he had been wearing the day before. He got dried off and dressed and acted as if he wanted to wait in the bathroom while I showered, but I shooed him out the door, "Go on out and play nice with the boys, they wont eat you, but I would appreciate if you would keep the info about our little meeting in the back seat of my car to yourself, that would not go over very well." He gave me a nervous grin and headed out to the kitchen as I started the water, I hear the Captain start right in on him and I only hoped I didn't come out to a full on brawl after my shower.

I think I took the quickest shower in history, washing the worst of the funk off and hitting the high spots once again so I could get out to the kitchen and rescue the young rock star or do damage control before things got out of hand, but when I shut the water off and got out of the shower, I only heard laughter and hoped like hell it wasn't at my expense, though I had a really sneaking suspicion that it was. Throwing on my most comfortable jeans and shirt, and a pair of going out boots, I walked in to find them sitting around like they had known each other for their whole lives. "So what lies have you been telling him, Cowboy?" He looked at me all innocent eyed and shocked like he was hurt that I would accuse him of such a thing, but the thing is, I knew him. I knew he was probably telling off on me about any one of a million embarrassing stories he knew about, but then again, I knew more than a few about him and I would share if I had to and he knew it. Our friendship was tight, and we bonded out of shared difficulty in the past and the stress of having rank in a high turnover profession where we were often the ones having to do the firing, but he loved to tease me to the point that it we often banked favors from each other just to buy off each other. His friend just chuckled and said, " Hey Bella I bet you didn't know me and him are from the same part of Texas, in fact we played football against each other in high school!" Oh my lord the Captain was a cradle robber too? That was too good to let pass by, and I had to just show that I was willing to go there, " Well no, Cowboy, you never mentioned you were a cradle robber too , So just how old are you J.D.?"

The Captains face showed a wide range of expressions in the next few seconds as I took an appraising sip of my coffee, and J.D. looked like he had swallowed a cat backwards. I winked at him to let him know it was okay with me, and he relaxed, and then abruptly the Captain burst out laughing, "Damn Swan! Leave it to you to drop a grenade in the middle of a picnic, how long have you known?" Poor little rock star was looking like he wanted to crawl under the table and flee as I said, "Since about 5 minutes after I met you, but daughter is a little slower on the uptake, she has a major crush on him and thinks you and me would make a great couple." We both snorted and laughed over that one, and with the tension of the moment over and assurances made all the way around that it didn't matter and it was their business, I asked where the hell he was taking us for breakfast because dammit, I was starving!

We loaded into the Captains truck and he drove us to a little hole in the wall café that caters to those with large appetites and a love of Mexican type food, and we all ordered enough food to keep the boys stuffed for the next few days and then we just sat around talking about things we had in common. It was funny how much J.D. and the young rock star had in common, not only did they resemble each other in that typical West Texas way, but they grew up within miles of each other, both played guitar, and had both roamed about the country quite a bit, though J.D. had experienced a pretty tough life and had been wounded in the war, while my young rock star had been a very privileged a fortunate young man who hadn't really had to do without anything. Even with their differences though, it was apparent they were hitting it off and becoming fast friends, so I just had to make a comment, " Well Cowboy, it seems as if the kiddies get along pretty damn good, we will have to make sure to get them together to play dates every now and then." That cracked us all up and it was decided on that note, it was time to go. I needed to get back to the apartment before daughter came home to a funky smell in the house, and I wanted young rock star to be long gone before she got home in order to be able to avoid any situations that I wasn't ready to deal with.

We were almost back to my place when my cell phone went off. I looked at it with dread, knowing that I was probably too late, and sure enough , "Mom,where R U?" was the message I found . "Oh shit!" I told them that daughter was home and that we had to make a contingency plan because she would freak out if she saw the young star and I was not ready to deal with that. The Captain had me text her back that I was out with him and J.D. and that we were on our way home. We planned that he would park over by the fugly little car, blocking the view from my apartment and thus allowing the young rock star to slide out the passenger side and escape without being seen, and the Captain and J.D. would come in with me to provide distraction to daughter while I did recon to see if I had missed any evidence. Young rock star grabbed my hand and said, " Look, I am done filming by this next weekend, but I would like to see you again before I leave, is that possible?" I nodded at him and we made sure we each had the right phone numbers for each other. I knew that if I got the news I was afraid of, I would need to see him and I would at least want to tell him goodbye one last time without an audience or the stress of my daughter nearly catching us. As we pulled up next to his car, he grabbed me around the back of the neck and kissed me like I had not been kissed since, well, the night before and it left me a bit breathless and addled. He gave me one of his trade mark grins and then slid out the passenger side door of the truck as the Captain and I and J.D. exited the rest of the truck and walked towards my place as if nothing was going on that anyone need to be concerned about.

Daughter was in her room when we came in and I hollered that I we were home just as I spotted the young rock stars t-shirt and stuffed it underneath a couch cushion to be handled later. The Captain choked and began laughing at me as he looked around the living room as if he were searching a crime scene, " What the hell are you looking for?" "Duh Swan, condoms and condom wrappers, those would be a little harder to explain and you probably wouldn't want to hide them in your couch." I blushed and shook my head and they both looked at me with their eyes wide, " You went raw, are you fucking nuts?" I hissed at them, "Shut up, here she comes, we will talk later!" "Oh you are damn right we will!" Daughter came walking into to room and it was funny to see how her face lit up when she saw J.D., it was painfully apparent to everyone in the room she had a major crush on him and lucky for her, he was a hell of a nice guy, because he just charmed the hell out of her while I escaped back to my bedroom really quick to hide any other evidence of him being in the house, after it was all clear and sort of put to rights, I rejoined them in the living room and found daughter sitting with J.D. and talking music, the main topic of which was the young rock star, as if I didn't have an interesting enough morning.

We spent the rest of the afternoon just hanging out in my living room of all places, watching a game on tv and talking. I decided to grill some steaks I had stashed so I thawed them out and got the Captain to help make some rice and fixings while daughter and J.D. played guitars in the living room. "You had unprotected sex with him, what the hell were you thinking Swan? Jeeze!" The Captain was trying to whisper but it felt like he was as loud as an air raid siren, "Would you please keep your voice down? And yes, I fucked up! But last night wasn't the first time, when we got together a week or so ago things got a little crazy then too and I think I may have really fucked up." The Captain stopped what he was doing and grabbed my shoulders and turned me to face him, "That's why the no drinking thing…you aren't pregnant are you?" "I don't know yet, I wont know until sometime this next week, but going by the date things went down, it's a definite possibility." He looked like he was going to fall over, and in fact he leaned against the counter, " Have you told him yet?" I shook my head, I didn't see the point in saying anything to him until I knew for sure, and even then I may not say anything because its not like he is in any position to be a father. He's a kid and a rock star, its not like he would be wanting to settle down and play Mr. Mom." The Captain shook his head, "If you are, you have to tell him Swan, its only fair, give him a chance to be a man about it before you cut his balls off." "Well, he's leaving town this next week to go back on his tour, so its not like he's going to be around to deal with the results of the news in person anyway. My doc said they would have the results by midweek, and I will give him a call maybe." Captain looked at me and said, "Not all men are like your ex, some will do the right thing if you give them a chance, but no matter what, we have your back and we will be there for you for everything except diapers, I ain't doing no shitty diapers, and if you are knocked up, you are going on a leave from SWAT until you deliver."

I couldn't believe my rotten luck, the first time I get laid in over three years, and it has to hit at the time of the month when im at my most likely to get knocked up, and its with a guy whos at that prime of his life and most likely more than capable of doing it. I got pregnant with my daughter the very damn first time I had sex with my ex, so my freak out that was in full effect felt more than justified, I came from a very fertile family, my sis had 5 kids and 2 of her kids already had kids. I was the only one that had managed to hold it to one. My brothers had multiple kids and their poor wives claimed that they had pretty much gotten knocked up as soon as they tried. I was going to be jumping at my damn phone every time it rang this next week, but until then I was going to be doing a lot of finger crossing and maybe just a little praying.


	6. Chapter 6

It was going to be a long damn week. I was doing a combination of hoping every little twinge I felt in my back was the onset of cramps, to about killing myself every time my cell phone rang. The Captain was no help with his raised eyebrow 'Well?" looks every single morning that I had to answer with a subtle shake of the head, and to make things worse, I had gotten a call from the young rock star,( that I had missed due to being in a meeting), and he had left me a message saying that he had been offered a chance to audition for a role in some big movie over in England, so he had left the country and didn't know when he would be back. In a way it was better because he was out of sight, out of mind, but I kinda missed the boy. I had retrieved his t-shirt from under the couch and I had stashed it in my bedroom, and on occasion, I have to admit, I may or may not have taken a deep whiff of it to remind my self that I had hit that tight little package. By Friday was in a blue funk. Not only had my doctors office not called and I was ready to go down there and rip peoples heads off, but my monthly visitor was showing no signs of putting in an appearance. I was sitting in my office working on some reports and cursing the inefficiency of the filing system that we had, when my cell went off .

I didn't know the Captain was in his office, but when I saw the number was my doctors, I called out, "Cowboy?" and I heard him get up quickly and head over, shutting my door behind him as he came in. I answered my phone and waited. My doctor asked me if I was sitting down and I was glad I was, and I guess I went pale as a ghost because next thing I knew, the Captain was knelt down next to me rubbing my shoulders and reassuring me that everything was going to be fine as my doctor gave me the lab results that had come back,(some would take awhile), so far no diseases, but…and this was a huge assed but, I was indeed pregnant at the age of 41.

The phone just kinda slipped though my fingers and the Captain caught it and finished the conversation for me, including scheduling my next appointment. He hung up the phone and then turned my chair so I was facing him and he pulled me into a hug and held me as I had my freakout. He was all kinds of reassuring and kind and he patted my back as he told me that I had a hell of a way of having a mid-life crisis. He was surprised I was able to get the test results back so soon, but I told him that they had tests that could have told by the next day, though they aren't 100% accurate, so I had just decided to go with the most accurate on and wait, but now the young rock star was gone and I was alone. He lifted my chin up and looked in my eyes, "You aren't alone at all. You have us, and you have your daughter who you are going to have to tell, as well as an entire department that loves you. I bet when you tell him, you will have him too, he seems like a good sort, you just need to give him a chance." I shook my head, he's off in Europe, auditioning for the role of a lifetime and if he gets it, he is going to be over there for almost a year, and then he will be doing all kinds of promotion and his music. Now is his time to shine so I am not going to say a word because I don't want to take that away from him." The Captain looked at me gravely and said, "You at least need to let him know sometime." I thought about it and said, " Well, at my age, everything is high risk and it may not even go to term, but if it does and all is well, I will let him know. Does that sound fair? That way he doesn't have to stress and worry himself that may not even turn into anything." He looked at me for a minute and then finally agreed, "But you are going to have to make some damn changes like right now! And with that he opened my desk and confiscated my smokes and lighter. I was going to be hard to live with for the next 9 months, so it was probably a good thing that the young rock star had fled the country.

The next few weeks shot past and I didn't hear anything else from the young rock star, but he was all over the websites that I tended to check to see what he was up to. He had gotten the role and it appeared things were really looking up for him. Photos of him showed him smiling and looking fit and happy, and I was glad to see someone was doing great because I was stressed out and exhausted all the damn time. I had decided to wait until I was actually getting close to showing before saying anything to daughter. She had made it through finals and was getting ready to leave on vacation with her friends family to spend the bulk of the summer in Hawaii,(they were well off and daughter went along as entertainment and as a companion for their daughter), so I was going to be alone for a few months to get through the worst of any morning sickness or laziness. The Captain and his friend were over often, in fact weekends at my house had become a regular thing that I looked forward too. The guys were good company for me and daughter and even though she crushed on the Captains friend really hard, she never was overbearing, though she constantly seemed to be trying to nudge me and the Captain together. I kinda found it amusing that daughter really didn't have a clue that the Captain and his friend were a special kind of "Friends", but I decided to leave it alone.

After she left for her trip, things seem to speed up for me and my body, and the next thing I knew I had the worst case of morning sickness to ever strike a human being. I swear I vomited everything including my toenails, multiple times. I cursed him, my luck, myself, men in general, fate, and anybody else I could think of when I wasn't busy vomiting, and I wasn't too shocked to find at my 4th month appointment, that I had actually lost a few pounds, but what I was shocked was at the Captains reaction. He had been accompanying me to my appointments, as well as doing his overbearing sniff test on me multiple times a day, making sure I wasn't smoking, even though I swore I had quit and wasn't even tempted,(that was true, the smell even made me sick), I had cold turkeyed and stuck with it because it wasn't my life on the line a this point. When he heard that I had lost weight, he started interrogating my doctor about ways to help me gain weight and if anything could impact the health of the baby, and about fifty other questions that had the doctor sitting there looking at him like he was up for father of the year. " You ought to marry this one." she told me, causing him to blush and me to laugh out loud. "Neither one of us is the marrying type, so I think I will have to just leave him at Uncle status for now." She shook her head and said, "Pity, but anyway, so lets go get and ultrasound and take a look at the little cause of all your troubles." We walked over into the freezing cold ultrasound room and waited for the tech to show up. The Captain was texting and trying to look like he wasn't just a little freaked out, and then he abruptly looked at me and asked, " Can J.D. come back and watch?" I didn't even know his friend was at the office and considering I loved him as much as I loved the Captain, I said "Well duh! Go get him, hurry before he misses it!." He bolted from the room, his long legs eating up the hallway and I was able to see expectant moms and nurses both turning to watch his ass as he shot past them, and I had to giggle to myself, "Yeah, suck it bitches he bats for the home team, and if he didn't , he would be mine."

They both came back into the room really tentatively, as if they were afraid that I would be splayed out like some porn queen, but once they saw the tech still wasn't in, the Captain reached down and squeezed my hand and J.D. smiled and patted my shoulder. "I think its pretty damn cool you letting me come see this, I have never seen anything like this, never expected to be a part of any kids life." I smiled at them both, and said words that I never expected would make grown assed men cry.

"You better expect to be part of this kids life because if you will consider it, I would like to not only have you both as Godfathers and Uncles, but as Guardians in case anything happened to me, and uhh, I hope you don't mind me asking, but since my family cant and wont get up here for the birth, would ya'll be my birth coaches?"

Whoa! They both lived up the gay stereotype at that point because they started bawling like a couple of big ole babies and hugging on me and each other. I smacked them off of me and told them to get it together and be prepared because that had all kinda crap along with it like it meant that they were going to have to help me break the news to daughter and clean out my office so it can be converted into a nursery, as well as help come up with names and stuff. The tech finally came in as they were getting a hold of themselves and planning the destruction of my office, and she started asking all the information to enter into the computer. I was able to give her the exact date of conception and all that kind of information, but when she asked fathers name I replied, " Undetermined." She turned around and looked at me and Mutt and Jeff standing next to me, and they looked at the ceiling and the floor and anyplace but her, and she just shrugged and left the line blank, after all, in Portland I was sure she had heard and seen stranger things. She got right down to business and had me lay back and pull my shirt up as she pulled my jeans open and down and squirted the goopy ice on my belly that about made she shoot up to the top of the little bed. She put the sensor on my gut and started pressing down so hard I thought I was going to pee on myself! And the sounds of my guts filled the room and apparently I was hungry.

She hunted around for a few minutes and finally found where she was headed and located my girly bits, and where the source of all the trouble was. The sound of something that was a quick as a hummingbird filled the room and both guys just froze like a couple of dogs hearing the worlds strangest sound as the tech said, ' The baby has a nice steady heart beat with a good speed and if you look here you will see its head and spine and of course the legs." She was rapidly typing in all kinds of measurements and capturing images and even printing off copies of some of the better ones. It was too early to see what it was, but I had an amnio scheduled the next week to make sure there weren't any health issues we needed to prepare for, so we would find out then if it was a boy or a girl, this ultra sound was to make sure I was just having one and that all the bits and pieces were there, and from what I could see, it appeared all was well. The guys were staring at the screen and holding onto my hand and each other like they were going to fall apart and I knew my baby had all the love and support it was going to need, no matter what became of its biological father.

He hadn't made any effort to get in contact with me and really I didn't expect him to. He was busy filming what was reported to be his 'Break out" role, and he had been seen on the arm of a very beautiful and "A" list starlet, and I just figured he had moved on with his life. His band was even doing well and was recording a new album and doing shows around Europe when he was off from filming, so just as I had expected, he was doing great and moving up in the world, he didn't need and anchor to hold him down.

Daughter was starting to suspect something was up. She had called to let me know she was returning from Hawaii, and she commented that I seemed really "Vague" and "Out of it" compared to how I normally was. I knew I needed to have a plan in place as well as a decision on what I was going to tell her about the situation. I called a meeting of the minds between myself, the Captain and J.D. the weekend before I had to go to PDX to pick her up.

" So, I am looking for input here, what am I going to tell my daughter about this situation, because I am telling you right now, she is going to freak the hell out when she gets home and finds the office emptied out, and me with a bun in the oven.' The Captain and J.D. both looked pensive, and I said, " I looked into the laws and I have the option of leaving the fathers name totally off the birth certificate. I never have to name him since I haven't named him yet and I am not getting any public assistance, I don't have to tell her who the father is, and since he has moved on to the flavor of the week in Hollywood that looks good on his arm, I seriously doubt he is going to want to be involved." The Captain shook his head, "I still think you at least should let him know, give him the chance to do right by this child, and if he doesn't respond then, well, then you leave him off." Well how would you suggest I notify him?" "Don't you have his contact numbers? Send him a text or call him and tell him, but at least notify him and then if he doesn't follow up, then leave it blank or put one of us." Whooa! Did he just say put one of them? Were they volunteering to be the father to my son if young Rock Star wouldn't? I was floored and I found myself going all girly for a moment with tears forming in my eyes. Damn the hormones that turned me all soft and gushy, I was never going to live it down. 'All right, Ill do it, in fact, Ill do it now. Hand me my phone and watch , you are my witnesses." I took my phone and pulled up his cell and I typed in the message, " Encounter in PDX had lasting ,due 12/20 call me if interested.B" I showed the message the Captain and JD and I hit send. We sat there a few minutes looking at the phone, half expecting it to ring with him freaking out at the other end, but nothing but silence echoed in the room for the longest time. "So what do we tell daughter?" J.D. actually surprised me with his suggestion, he had actually always seemed like the more straight laced and prudish of the two, but he looked at he floor and suggested, " You could tell her that we came here one night after a really bad incident and we were all drinking too much and confused and we woke up in the morning with all of us naked in bed together and the next thing you know…" he was red as an apple by the time he got done talking and I just looked at him in surprise. "The Captain was staring at him like he had lost his mind , but he nodded, "That is really , really a good, bad example of the trouble alcohol can get you into and she would be really upset with all of us, so we could spread the anger around and all be in the doghouse together." I was just stunned. 'So if he doesn't call back by the time I go pick her up, you all are going to claim that either one of you could be the father and we are just going to raise the baby together?" They both nodded at me, "Wow, I don't know what to say." "Say you'll do it and we all hang together and raise this child the best we can." I stood up and walked over and hugged them both as my cell phone began to ring.


	7. Chapter 7

**Thought I would give ya'll something to keep you occupied over the holiday. Hope everyone is having a happy one of whatever they celebrate and if you are lucky enough to be at a certain concert...**

We all froze as the phone rang. I finally reached down and grabbed it, answering it quickly before whoever it was hung up thinking that no one was around. I gave a strangled , "Helloo?" before realizing it was daughter calling to make sure I had the right gate numbers and arrival time for her as well as ensuring that I had picked up her school schedule and supplies so she would be prepared to go back with no complications. Once my heart started beating again, I told her that it was all taken care of and that I had even picked her up a new backpack and a few other things so that she wouldn't have to stress anything,(anything excepting the pending arrival of a new sibling before then end of her Jr year)and that I was planning on taking her shopping for clothes the weekend after school started or if that wasn't satisfactory, she could go with her friend and my debit card, something that never failed to make her deliriously happy and me more than a little broke for a few weeks following. Once I got off the phone with her, the guys and I made sure we had our stories straight and we planned to form a united front and tell her after giving the young Rock Star a full week to respond to the text I had sent.

Picking up daughter at PDX was an adventure. Truthfully I hated going there and dealing with the crowds and all the rent a cop security drones that tried to play the stereotype hard core badass, and while most of the security people were just doing their jobs the best they could, it never failed that there was always some chode that had to take things too far and I had to educate them. I parked and got my bag and headed in, wearing a little baggier clothes than normal because lately my boobs had taken on a life of their own and had actually gone up a full cup size. I wasn't showing anywhere else, and the worst of the morning sickness had seemed to pass, but I still got queasy at strong smells and prone to hormonal fits of temper that made my usual temperament seem pleasant and mild, so as I walked into the waiting area I planned to just find an out of the way spot and hang out until daughter came out through baggage claim. I luckily didn't have to wait long, but I almost didn't recognize my daughter. She was not only tanned with lighter hair, she had gotten taller and filled out the rest of the way and she looked a lot older than a nearly 17 year old. I felt my heart twinge watching her walk up as I realized she was going to be leaving for college in just two short years, about the time her new sibling was hopefully potty training.

She hugged me tightly and then looked at me funny and stepped back, "Mom, you have gained some weight! Have the Captain and J.D. been over-feeding you junk food all summer long?" I laughed as I thought about what my diet had been lately, and junk food would not even remotely come close to its universe. My guys were taking the whole, " Birth coach" thing very seriously and they had been bringing me healthy food on a daily basis and on weekends we just gave up and ate meals together for company unless they had plans to go somewhere or we had work related commitments. They had become my family, I hoped daughter would be accepting of it, even if she was initially freaked out by the whole situation, because there had not been a peep back from the young Rock Star, and I really didn't expect one.

We arrived back to the apartment and she headed into her room to unpack and call all her friends to let them know she was back home. Her best friend wasn't due to return from Hawaii until a week after school started due to some family thing that was going on, but daughter was already arranging her social calendar and planning to hit the mall with several of her other cronies as soon as I gave the okay and my debit card. I debated just letting her go, but she had just gotten home and I wanted to spend some time with her, so I told her that I would let her go next weekend, and I would even let her take the car,(a rare occurrence since she had managed to get a speeding ticket on her permit and earned my ire) that was some successful negotiating, and we worked together in companionable silence for a bit, preparing a light dinner and chatting about how much she enjoyed her vacation over the summer. I hoped she would still talk to me once she realized that a few things had changed around her life. She reached over and plugged in her Ipod and some familiar but different sounding music came rolling out. She sold me that the young rock star and his band had just released their new album and for the first time it had actually been featured on music television! "See mom, I TOLD you those guys were headed for the big time, and as she did her , " Told you so" dance on the way to the table with the salad, I thought to myself that I was glad he was doing well, and I wondered if I was even a blip on his radar.

In typical teen fashion, daughter was so busy in her own little world and the drama of getting ready to go back to school and re-bond with her friends that she didn't notice anything was different for weeks and weeks. The Captain and J.D. both managed to accompany me to the amnio and we got the results a week later that not only was everything looking perfectly normal and healthy, but that it was a boy. A boy. Wow…I had always thought a little son would be fun to raise, and I knew he would have some of the most positive and loving male role models that any little boy could ever want to have. I could no longer hide the fact something was going on in my belly, and the fact that daughter had not noticed was beginning to freak me out just a bit. Was my daughter that damn self-absorbed that she didn't notice I now had a pronounced bulge and my boobs would have made Dolly Parton say, "Daaayumm!" she hadn't even noticed we had cleaned out my office. Did she need glasses? Was she over scheduled? What the hell? I was beginning to get a little pissed off about it and then the other shoe dropped.

We were in the kitchen cooking dinner on a Saturday, before she left with her friends to go to a movie. The Captain and J.D. were trying to drag the grill under the awning so the wouldn't get soaked while cooking the chicken, when daughter looked at me and for the first time seemed to see me. ' Mom, you have put on some weight, what is going on with you? You look all kinds of different." I rapped sharply on the kitchen window, and gave them both the "The shit is going down!" look and they dropped what they were doing and came in the porch door looking like they were getting ready to face a firing squad. "Hun, you need to sit down a minute and we need to talk." 'MOM! ARE YOU OKAY!" 'Im fine, but seriously, lets sit down and I need you to listen to me a minute." J.D. came up behind her and put an arm around her and guided her to a chair as she looked like she was going to have a heart attack. "What the hell is going on, are you dying?" I shook my head and said, " No, I'm not dying, there is no easy way to say this so I am just going to be blunt, I'm pregnant."

I expected a lot of things from her; including tears , a tantrum, anger all kinds of stuff, but I did not expect her to laugh. "Im not joking. I am really pregnant." "Oh I didn't think you were joking, I am just amazed that you took so long to tell me and that you look so freaked out about it. I am not stupid, MOM! I am an honors student and a cops daughter, so I kinda figured something was a when I first got back and you had grown boobs and a belly and the office was empty. How far along are you?" I told her I was right at 5 months before I realized that she might put more than two and two together, and as soon as I said that, I saw the realization dawn on her face. I shook my head at her subtly and made eyes at the Captain and J.D. She looked like she was going to choke for a minute or two and then she asked, "Are you going to keep it?" "Him, yes, I am going to keep him, and my two coaches here are making sure that I am doing everything I am supposed to be doing to make sure he is healthy." "Well, then I guess you better add me to the roster because now you have another coach on your team and I will be on you 24/7." It was like a weight had been lifted off of me once I knew she wasn't going to hate us all and that I didn't have to lie to her. I knew me and her would be having a much more interesting talk after the Captain and J.D. went home, but with her knowing who the father really was, it made life much simpler, I hoped.

Dinner was a relaxed a jovial affair with the Captain and J.D. teasing me about thinking I was being ignored by my daughter. She gave them an appraising look and then really dropped a bomb on them by saying, " So how long have you two been together?" I thought that they were both going to fall out of their chairs as they looked at me to rescue them, and I just shook my head and said, " You were just flipping me shit about thinking she was unobservant, well it looks like her gaydar is up and working just fine now, so go ahead, answer her." The Captain reached over and caught J.D.s hand and said, "We have been together a total of around 7 years, it just took me awhile to come to my senses an realize that he was where I wanted to be." "So are you out?" she was going to cut right to the chase and both men looked a bit uncomfortable with their response, " We aren't deeply closeted, but we keep a kinda personal if they don't ask, we don't tell kinda lifestyle and we don't flaunt it in public." "But the mayor is gay, so I don't think it would be a big deal around here, after all, this is Portland, its like San Francisco North" We all laughed at that one, and I had to remind her that the law enforcement world often had very different rules than the rest of the world, and that if they wanted to be quiet about their personal life at work, then that was their decision, "Well, be yourselves around here, I mean my GOD way to send off confusing signals to a girl J.D.!" He blushed as red as a fire engine and apologized to her as she laughed and threw a napkin at him.

After they left and she called and cancelled her movie date, we finally got to sit down and have the conversation I knew was going to be the most difficult . "Okay mom, you realize I am pretty close to a legal adult now, correct?' I said I understood and she looked at me square in the eyes and said, " You know I can do math, and that I know all about pregnancy and such things from health class and from you drilling that kinda crap into my head from day one, right?" I again agreed. " So what in the actual FUCK? That was YOU and him in the back of the car wasn't it? You boned the hottest rock star I have ever known and managed to get knocked up by him? Jeebus, MOM!" I cringed as she just looked at me like I had killed her favorite puppy. "My little brother is the son of the hottest rock star in the world, and I am going to be half sister to his child…that makes him now totally undoable!" Oh my God she was mourning her lost potential to get laid by the young rock star. I was officially going to ground her for the rest of her life and throw up all at the same time.

I broke out the ultrasound pictures of the baby and showed her the video of the 3d ultrasound and that one blew her mind and had her commenting that she thought the baby had his nose already. I laughed and let her ramble away but then I made sure that she was aware of the reality of the situation, " I sent him a message when I first found out I was pregnant. I gave him the opportunity to be involved or to walk away and I never got a response. I am not planning on naming him on the birth certificate or contacting him again. He was made aware, he knows, but he has chosen not to respond and we don't need him. The Captain and J.D. have offered to either be named as his father and to step up and raise him. They are both legally named as your and his guardians should anything ever happen to me, so I hope you can get used to those two chuckleheads." She laughed at me and said, " First off you are too mean to die, heaven doesn't want you and hell is afraid you will take over is what you have always told me, and second, I have considered them my family for as long as I have known them, they are perfect. Have you thought about names for him yet?"

We talked into the evening about possible names and even made up a list of potential names, some that even gave recognition to the young Rock Star by naming my son after a friend of his who had passed, but we decided that we would wait until the baby was actually here and we met him before we settled on a final decision. Daughter was onboard with keeping her brothers paternity quiet because she knew the kind of storm of controversy that would bring down on all of us, along with ridicule, if it was denied outright, so she agreed to just be exited and if anyone pressed for a fathers name, she would name J.D. as my sons father due to the fact that the young Rock Star and him had similar features.

Daughter was no less of a fan of the young Rock Star because of his failure to want to be involved with the baby, she was actually giving him the benefit of the doubt and asking me to consider that maybe he didn't get the message at all. I had thought about that, but I simply couldn't find the time to worry about it with my rapidly expanding body dominating every waking and sometimes sleeping moment. I had been put on light duty now that I was the size of most patrol cars, and I simply chafed at all the restrictions I found myself under. My SWAT team had been called out several times and I wasn't even allowed to respond to the scene as an advisor. The Captain threatened to have me put in restraints if I so much as even came up on the radio, so I had begrudgingly gone home to put my vastly swollen feet up and listen to the results on the scanner along with the rest of the civilians.

The baby was big and active and I felt like he was already well versed in Judo by the time the end of the 8th month rolled around and the doctor dropped a bomb on me. It was just me and J.D. at this particular appointment and he was old hat at the routine. I was a bit cranky because my back had been hurting like hell and the typical heart burn was surely leaving scorch marks in my throat as I burped burps that would have impressed truck drivers and J.D. laughed at me as they made my eyes water. I threatened to start sending them down the other direction and that shut him up for a bit, but in all actuality I was too chicken to do that, because with a giant baby pushing on things, I wasn't sure it was a safe bet.

The doctor came in and looked at me, "You aren't going to like me very much but because of your back ache, and your age, and just to settle my head because you are stubborn as shit and I know you are still working even though you should already be on maternity leave, I am going to check you." Son of a bitch! Just what I wanted, her cold assed fingers rammed up my hoohah on a day when I am gassy and uncomfortable and my back hurts. I groaned and tried to whine my way out of it, but J.D. just started helping her get me into position and he was easing me back as she pulled my pants off, and before I could even bitch too loud about things she cussed, "Fucking fuck! I knew it Swan, I hope like hell you have your calendar cleared because you aren't going home, you are going directly to the hospital."


	8. Chapter 8

Dilated to 4 centimeters and 25% effaced! Holy hell the little shit was trying to put in an early appearance and that would not do! J.D. was as pale as a ghost as the doc gave us the news. She gave us the specifics on where I was to go to the hospital to be admitted and what I was to expect. I was told that I was going to be put on strict bed rest as well as an I.v. of medications to try and slow things down. I went into command mode at that point and told J.D. to call the Captain, get my "Go" bag from my room, and then call my daughter at school to catch a ride to her friends house where she would stay until we figured out what was going on.

The ride to the hospital was tense and nerve-wracking, J.D. held my hand and kept trying to reassure me that everything was going to be okay, and even though I thought back on how I hadn't really wanted to be a mom again at 41, I was attached to the little being growing in me and I wanted him to arrive safe and sound. When we arrived at the hospital, my dignity promptly left. I was issued a hospital gown and told to leave everything else off because they were going to put a probe up in me to measure the babies status in closer proximity. It was at that point J.D. exited stage left and I wished the young Rock Star was around so I could whack him in the nads a few times to even the score. I laid there in that damn bed for hours with my parts in the wind, waiting for the doctor to come and give me some information. My ass was uncomfortable from the hard bed, my back hurt from laying in the proper position for all the monitors to work, and the crap on tv was driving me crazy. Nobody had shown up yet to keep me company and I was getting testy and grumpy. It was dinnertime before the doctor showed up to jam her fingers back up my crotch and once again she gave me a glare that made me feel like I was doing something wrong. " You are at 5 centimeters and 50% effaced and showing that you are having contractions. We have been trying to stop him, but for some reason he is determined to be born. If he keeps getting these runs of decelerations in his heart rate we are going to deliver him tonight, so you better have your team here just in case. A month early? Well that would figure, coming early and doing as he damn well pleased no matter what the consequence.

I got on the phone and called the Captain and J.D.. They had already picked up daughter and were having a quick dinner and making sure Jack was fed and the nursery was ready. I told them to get their butts to the hospital before I sent the SWAT team to drag them in and the next thing I knew all hell was breaking loose as alarms went off and people started moving really damn fast all around me.

Lucky for me the Captain and J.D. drive like cops because they managed to get daughter and get to the hospital in less than the time most people would take to decide what they were going to wear for the day. By the time they arrived, the little cuss had gotten very serious about coming. The doctor was trying to decide if we were delivering normally or if we were doing a c-section, but the one thing we had decided on was that I was getting spayed no matter what, I wasn't going though this again! The baby's heart rate kept dropping dangerously low and it was scaring the hell out of all of us. I don't think I had ever listened as closely to anything as I listened to that monitor, and as the Captain and J.D. and daughter came into the room, they could see the stress was starting to get to me. While I am flexible and able to change plans as the situation dictates, the thought of a c-section scared the hell out of me, but not as much as losing the little critter and I wanted somebody to make a decision and soon.

Everybody was watching the monitor like it was the only link holding us all to the world and every time the beeps slowed down, we all held our breath. I don't think I had ever seem the Captain or J.D. look so pale and daughter held onto my hand like she was afraid I was going to launch off the bed. After the 3rd time the monitor slowed down, the doctor said, "That's it, he's coming out and now. It appears the cord is around his neck and that is what is causing his heart rate to slow, so we cant do this the normal way, we are going to have to go for the c-section. I'm sorry, but its going to have to happen now." She informed us that while J.D. and the Captain could be in the delivery room as long as they stayed out of the way, daughter was going to have to stay in the room and just wait. She wasn't happy, but the guys promised to bring her news and pictures as soon as things were done. Pictures? What the hell? I made all kinds of dire threats about what would happen if any of my parts showed up in the pictures, and they both solemnly promised to behave themselves as the followed me as I was rolled down the hallway to the operating room.

Seeing them dressed in scrubs and the funky hair nets and masks was kinda funny and I demanded that they get pictures of each other for me as I was being given the epidural that was going to numb me up. After I was suitably numbed and then splayed out like a frog about to be dissected, they moved up closer to my head so that they weren't staring at my parts. The doc started asking me if I could feel things, and I had no idea what the hell she was talking about so I guess I was numb enough and she started cutting and tugging away on my guts. I saw the Captain and J.D. both go a little pale and I told them that if they passed out they were going to get a complimentary neutering, so they had better nut up and fast. It turned out that the doc had lifted my entire uterus out and that would be enough to put anyone off their feet a bit if they weren't expecting it I guess. It seemed like no time had passed and we heard a sound that sounded like a kitten that was pissed the hell off and my son had made his grand entrance into the world.

I only got to see a quick glimpse of him as the doc showed me that he was indeed a boy, and that he was a shaggy little cuss already with a full head of dark hair, as she handed him off to the NICU nurses so he could be evaluated due to being a month premature and the urgency of his birth. The guys went with him, leaving me with my guts hanging out on the table as the doctor went about spaying me to prevent any further kids, but not before I saw that both of them had tears in their eyes, they were already wrapped around the little guys fingers and he didn't even have a name yet. I got word of his measurements, and he was a runty little cuss, but so far healthy and breathing on his own and pink and acting like he should, so if he stayed healthy and happy after an overnight in the NICU and ate normally, I might even be able to take him home in a few days.

The Captain was the first to come and see me in my room after all was said and done and he looked like a man that had be whacked in the head a few times and left to stagger around. "He is perfect and I got to hold him and feed him. He is so damn tiny that I was afraid he was going to break, but he grabbed ahold of my finger and I swear he gave me a look!" I had to laugh at him just a little, but I didn't have the heart to tell him that the little guy most likely couldn't see a damn thing other than bright lights and shapes, but he could hear voices so the fact that familiar voices were around him was helpful. Daughter and J.D. were down in the NICU with him and were trying to figure out just what name to stick him with. We had narrowed it down to 2 and once we had a consensus, we were going to finish filling out the paperwork. Daughter had taken my phone with her to the NICU to get some more pictures of him so she could send them out to family easier than waiting to upload them from home. My kin had been harassing me for months to tell them who the daddy was, mainly so they could hunt him up and kill him, but I knew they would be excited to see the pictures of him and once they saw how cute he was, they wouldn't care anymore about who contributed half his dna.

Daughter and J.D. came walking into the room and announced that they had reached an agreement on his name and so it was decided that Spencer was going to be his first name, Thomas his second and as daughter finished typing that into the phone, she hit send and then gasped as she realized that she had sent the picture with the name and the stats on her new brother to everyone in my phones address book, including the young Rock Star.

I told her to "Calm down! Hell! You had wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt about not getting the message the first time around, and if he didn't, well then, this should damn sure clear that up. He has had over 8 months to get in contact with me. he has been back in the states and in fact he has been as close as Seattle, but I haven't heard a peep out of him, so its okay. He lives in a different world than us and as long as we don't go getting in the media eye or trying to demand anything from him, he will leave us alone, so don't worry about it. He's obviously not interested. Now, someone help me up and get me a wheelchair so I can go see my boy."

We ended up only being stuck in the hospital 4 days. He was doing well and growing already gaining precious ounces and peeing on every nurse that dared to try and change his tiny little diaper, he even peed on J.D. and the Captain both and managed to cause them to smear poop all over themselves and him, requiring a change of the entire bassinet and getting them laughed out of the NICU. The Captain insisted on bringing his tank of a truck, and he had the most expensive and battle tested car seat known to man installed in the middle of the back of it. I was surprised he hadn't added extra skid plates to the side panels of his truck and an additional roll bar to the damn thing, because I don't think heads of state were traveling as safe as that baby was going to.

Arriving home, I managed to hobble myself in and to the couch as the guys and daughter brought in the baby and all his assorted gear. It was amazing just how much crap a small baby would acquire in 4 short days of life, and though he spent most of his time sleeping or eating, he had the attention of way more people than I had ever thought he would attract. I came home to find my entire living room stuffed with flowers, stuffed animals and food baskets and all kinds of extra baby stuff from people in the department, daughters friends and even my neighbors. It seems like a baby brought out the need to give stuff in everyone. His room had a monkey theme thanks to daughter, and she had even found the young Rock Stars t-shirt that I had kept, and along with my concert t-shirt and hers, she had had them sewn into a wall hanging that was over the head of his crib. I didn't argue with her too much about it. We weren't talking about the young Rock Star too much, though I know it bothered daughter a bit that there had been no response from him to the picture she had inadvertently sent him. I just chalked it up to circumstances of life, and told her so. I still listened to his music, and hell. when his big movie came out, I would go see it. It was just one of those things and I didn't hate him or bear him any ill will for his choice, but I wasn't going to let it impact me anymore than it already had.

I decided to put him in his bassinette in my room for the first few months so I wouldn't have to hobble to far to get to him when he woke up needing to be fed during the night. I wasn't going to breast feed because I was going back to work as soon as possible and it just wasn't going to be feasible time wise or health wise for either of us, due to the meds I was on for the nasty migraines that had a bad habit of showing up when I was sleep deprived. Formula feeding made life easier for all of us, that is once we found a formula that didn't give him colic that made him scream his head off for hours on end. He of course, needed the most expensive and hard to find stuff known to man and it became a game of, "find the formula" for all of us. But it was good stuff and he rapidly lost the skinny, frog legged look and gained the more normal, and adorable cute baby look that got attention everywhere he went. His hair was always and uncontrollable mess and I had considered putting a bow in it just to keep it sort of tidy, but the guys and daughter just slapped my hands away from him and mussed his hair back up so that it looked as wild as ever. His eyes were a vivid green that made people stop in their tracks and just stare and of course he had his fathers dimples. The Captain commented , "Well Swan, it seems that the only thing he inherited from you is your temperament" as he launched into another howl fest due to the fact he was alone in is bassinette and he wasn't being worshipped at the moment by one of his many fans. J.D. walked over and picked him up and started patting and singing to him, getting him settled and back to sleep so we could all sit down to a hopefully uninterrupted dinner.


	9. Chapter 9

Time moved quickly and we had a lot to occupy our minds with the holiday pushing down on us. We had missed Thanksgiving due to being in the hospital, so we did a makeup of it the first weekend in December and then daughter started freaking out about getting ready for Christmas. I was determined to start trying to get back into shape as soon as possible so I could reclaim my spot on the SWAT team, and due to rank having its privileges we were able to work out a schedule where one of us would be with Spence constantly and he wouldn't have to ever go to day care. I would be able to bring him to the office if I was so inclined due to the sheriff having a very family friendly work environment, and daughters schedule was going to allow her to help out in the afternoons if she was so inclined. I demanded that she keep a normal teenagers life though, and not be a built in babysitter at the cost of her social life. She loved her little brother and spent a lot of time showing him off and dressing him and even carried a picture of him on her phone, so I guess he was one lucky little boy to be surrounded by so much love, I was kinda fearful that Christmas was going to be totally insane, so in an attempt to stave off the worst of the over-indulgence, I called a family meeting and tried to set a one gift per person limit. You would have thought I had told them that Santa had crash landed in a volcano and I was rapidly voted down. The next thing I knew Christmas morning rolled around and you could hardly see the Charlie Brown tree for all the crap underneath it.

I found it kinda funny that the kid didn't even know what Christmas was, yet he had hit the lottery when it came to gifts and wouldn't need any toys for at least the next couple of years. He sat in is baby seat, sucking on a binky and pretty much ignoring everything except the musical ones or the ones that lit up and then he would bat at them in his uncoordinated baby way and coo, just being cute as all get out as the guys and daughter demonstrated how each thing worked or battled the toy out of its cage of death otherwise known as "Packaging", We had a great morning as the pile of his loot grew and everybody got what they either needed or wanted and he got waay too much of both. Dinner was cooking in the oven and we were all kicked back on the floor, laying around him as he napped on his favorite blankie, watching "A Christmas Story". It was an almost perfect Christmas, though as I looked at my small son laying on his blanket surrounded by those who loved him beyond all reason, I had to wonder about his father and what he was thinking and if he really just didn't want to be involved with such a perfect little being. In a way it pissed me off some that I had read him so damn wrong. He had seemed like a good enough hearted fella in spite of our unorthodox way of getting together, and I had figured that the Texan in him would at least force him to do the right thing and call me back no matter what he decided to do after that, but I guess I wasn't as good at reading folks as I had thought, and while I was glad to have such a wonderful baby out of the deal, I was annoyed at myself for how I got him.

The doorbell rang and I got up to see who it was and I was surprised to find a FedEx guy there with a huge assed package for me to sign for. I figured it was probably something loud and annoying from my crazy assed sister in Texas, but there was no return address on the box or on any of the paperwork, so I tossed the papers on the desk and brought the box into the living room to open. It was addressed to simply Spencer Thomas so I handed off to daughter to open while I went to the kitchen to check on the roast that was slow cooking in the oven. I had my head half in the oven trying to determine what the numbers on the damn meat thermometer read, when the Captain came up behind me and said, "You need to come take a look at this, and promise me you aren't going to freak the hell out." He put an arm around me and led me back into the living room where I found daughter with an ashen expression on her face as she held a large, striped sock monkey in her lap and a card in her hands. "Its from him, he knows."

My stomach turned a summersault of pretty epic proportions and I got a little wobbly in the knees as I walked over to the couch and took the card from her. It didn't say too much, just that he had just found out due to a lost cell phone signal and being out on the road and excuses that really, for him, made sense. He asked if he could come and meet him. He was in Portland, staying at a hotel in the downtown area and he had included a new cell phone number. I took a deep breath and read the card to the everyone and they all looked like they were in shock. I reached down and picked up my son and cuddled him to my chest. "What should I do, he's not officially named on anything and if I don't want to I don't have to give him anything, he would have to fight me to even get a test." The Captain stopped me before I got too wound up, 'Swan, at least give him a chance, he is a young guy, he said he just found out, maybe he is telling the truth, he is here now and he wants to try, why don't you give him at least the opportunity to screw up?" I stroked Spences head as I contemplated what he was saying, my daughter had grown up without a father and life had often been hard, even though she had positive male role models around her, and men that she knew cared about her deeply, it wasn't the same, and it would be especially tough on a little boy even with two surrogate fathers to step in and help. "Okay, hand me my phone, but you guys are going to be here too, right?" The promised they were going to stay and run interference if I got pissed off or anything, and I sent him a short text with the words, "Come meet your son."

I didn't know when he was going to show up, but we decided to carry on as we had planned with our festivities. The roast was pulled out to rest and I put the pie in to cook as the Captain and I finished up the rest of the traditional goodies that were to go along with it and J.D. and daughter played their new guitars in the living room and sang 'Merry Christmas From The Family" cracking us all up and easing some of the tension that had settled over my small family. We were so busy in the kitchen with the blender and all the other commotion, I didn't hear the knock at the door, and daughter get up to answer it, so he was standing in my kitchen with our son in his arms, before I even had time to get angry at him or do him any bodily injury. He didn't even have to speak to me, I knew what he was thinking just by looking at him. 'Yeah, you damn sure put your mark on him. It was probably a good thing he was born a month early by emergency c-section, because if he had stayed in any longer he probably would have come out with one of your tattoo's or something as well."

He started looking a little shaky and I told him, "If you pass out and drop that baby, when you come to you are gonna think that the other stuff I did to you was just foreplay, now sit your butt down!" I dragged a chair over to him and guided him into it, gently squeezing his shoulder, trying to reassure him that he was not going to be strung up or anything. Spence started to squirm and stretch and he opened his eyes and looked right at his dad, and it was like one of those moments that you just knew you were seeing a man that was born to be a father like few others. That baby owned him, heart and soul and I hoped that somehow, someway we could figure this out with as little blood shed as possible.

I mixed up a bottle for him and got a burp rag ready, and before Spence could get too fired up and insulted that nobody had read his mind and realized he was demanding sustenance, NOW!,I handed young Rock Star the bottle and showed him how to hold it just right as his son had his dinner. He looked genuinely enraptured and I think a bomb could have gone off around them and he wouldn't have heard a thing as he focused on every little grunt and gasp that baby made, and how he reached up and wrapped his fingers around his dads finger, staring up at him like he was trying to figure out the mysteries of the universe as he sucked down his bottle in near record time. I hated to interrupt the moment, but if he sucked too long on the bottle without a break, he was going to overload, and that would not be good for young Rock Star or the carpet, so I said, "You need to pull the bottle and sit him up and burp him, otherwise he is going to get gas and that really makes him unhappy and it plays hell with the carpet." I should have remembered I was dealing with an absolute rookie when it came to the baby end of things, because I might been able to prevent yet another time where the young Rock Star would find himself in my home without any pants on.

He sat Spence up in his lap and began tentatively tapping on his back, and before I could hand him a towel Spence decided to unload virtually the entire contents of his belly all over the young rock stars crotch and chest. It looked like a baby fountain had erupted all over him. Spence was soaked, rock star was soaked, and the smell was less than pleasant, and it looked as if young rock star was about to add to the mess, so I hollered, "Cowboy" and got some back up in the room, handed off Spence to him so he could strip him down and get him cleaned up and changed, and I took charge of getting young rock star cleaned up and changed. I led him down the hall to my room and had him strip, off his jeans, only to find that left him skin to wind, "What do you have against underwear?" I asked him as I hunted through my closet for the pair of sweats that he had worn the last time, but luckily J.D. knocked on my bedroom door and without a word handed in a pair of track pants he had gotten for Christmas as well as a t-shirt, so since they were close in size he was set for something to wear after he rinsed off the worst of the barf. I collected his clothes after he took out his wallet and crap and headed out to stain treat them and put them in a quick wash along with Spence's stuff, and I checked to make sure that everyone in the rest of the house was calm and reassured I wasn't ending his young life as he cleaned up. I went back in just as he was getting into the shower and I figures since he was a captive in the shower for at least a few, that was as good as any time to find out why he had vanished,

"So, why didn't you answer my text when I told you I was pregnant?" He sighed deeply and said, "Bella I swear to God I never got it. With the travel over seas and all the weirdness of Europe, it just must have gone into the ether. If I had known I would have come back right away." I wasn't going to let him off that easy, "So why didn't you ever contact me again, you were in Seattle a few months ago and you could have called or stopped by." " It had been months and months and I know how things tend to go with the whole long distance situation, you are a powerful woman with a life back here and I figured you had moved on, you said you didn't like entanglements and I figured you didn't want some kid hanging around you." "So when you got the picture of Spence , what did you think?" He shut the water off and pulled back the curtain reaching for the towel I was holding for him. His body was looking fantastic, and even in my post-operative, guts pulled out and discombobulated state he still made my girly bits twinge in all kinds of ways and I was flat staring at him as I looked at the new tattoos that adored his chest and arms. " I about hit the damn floor to tell you the truth. I had wondered about what had happened between the two of us, it was crazy, but I figured that since you were older, that maybe you were on something or had been …you know…fixed?" I laughed as I finally gave him the towel, "Well I am now, little too late, but I am now."

He wrapped the towel around himself and stepped out of the shower towards me, "May I?" he asked, looking at me like he was afraid I was going to drop him, " Sure, come here." And as he stepped towards me and wrapped me in his arms I felt all the worry and stress and love for his son in his hug, and I said to him, "Don't worry, I am not going to keep your son from you. We don't have to be together, but if you want to be his daddy, I will do whatever I can to help you." He slumped against me and we stayed that way for what seemed like the longest time as he absorbed the fact that his life had just taken on a dramatic change, and he was facing a different future than he had ever expected.

When he finally collected himself and got dressed, we went out to the living room and I introduced him to daughter who was beside herself. "I cannot believe my favorite rock star is the father of my brother, its just too damn much to process." she said as she shook his hand and then hugged him tightly. "Does this mean I get concert tickets for free?" He laughed and said, "I guess it does, but considering you are the sister to my son now, that means no flashing your pods at the band anymore, ok?" She blushed so red that it looked like her face was going to burn off, and she gasped out, 'Wha! I ..never!" We all laughed at her and the Captain and J.D. patted her on the back as she realized she had just been got.

Spence was snuggled down in his carrier, sucking on a binky, watching the goings on around him, and young rock star looked at me as if he was asking permission to pick him up. 'Hun, he is half your son, pick him up if you want to, cuddle him and love him, but the rule is that if he is poopy and you touch him, you change him." He reached over and picked him up, and right on time Spence was poopy and it was a bad one that went all the way up his back. I walked over to the stack and got him a diaper and wipes, as the Captain and J.D. started laughing and got him a towel and prepared to coach him though his first poopy diaper as I went to swap the laundry into the dryer. He was getting a real trial by fire in being a dad in his first encounter with his son, and I hoped it didn't scare him the hell off, for him and his sons sake.


	10. Chapter 10

Sounds of gagging and hysterical laughter echoed from the living room, and I knew his son was giving him the full treatment. I heard the comment from him, 'Like father like son" and I knew he

fixing to get peed on, and sure enough I heard gales of laughter followed by howls from both father and son as he got pee all over his clean shirt and face. Spence was deadly with his aim and he had

drenched all who failed to cover his bits with a wipe before beginning the clean up process. I got the laundry swapped around and walked back in to watch the boys finish up the job, and I knew that

he was going to be a quick study when it came to dealing with the messier parts of being a father. He got Spence redressed and bundled up and leaned back against the couch with him cuddled up in

his arms, smelling his head and just absorbing the wonder that is baby. J.D. said, "Hey, you wanna see him get born, I videoed it and you can see it all go down." Young rock star was down with that

, so the guys set up the video and I got to relive all that trauma, though it was funny to see the young rock stars eyes about pop out of his head as they pulled my uterus out and laid it up on my

abdomen so they could cut the baby out. I have to give it to J.D., he was great with the camera and got in there and got all the gory details in super high definition. Young rock star reached over and

squeezed my hand as Spences first cries were captured by the camera, and I could see he was deeply affected. "We will make you a copy so you will have it, I also have an entire dvd load of pictures

you can have.

I got him to follow me into Spences room and he was surprised to see it was monkey themed, and the wall hanging about the crib stunned him. He turned to me and said, " You didn't just erase me?

You were making me part of his life even though I wasn't around?" I told him that if he hadn't come around, I would have gradually started fazing him out, in order to prevent any questions that would

have been painful or hard to answer and J.D. would have simply stepped up and claimed him as his. I told him that as things stood, his birth certificate was blank with his father unnamed to protect him

from being rejected or from media attention, but that was simple to fix if he was wanting to be involved, though we had to figure out how that was going to work. "My home is here in Portland. My

career, my family, my friends and everything I know is here, there is stability and sanity here and I can tell you that those things are pretty damn important for a child. I don't want him to have the kind

of life like that poor kid that was in those movies has, where he cant even go outside without being stalked by those paparazzi freaks, you know how I would handle that kinda stuff." He ruefully

laughed and agreed that the media circus would be a potential powder keg all the way around, "But I am not there yet, by a long shot, I am still just me." I agreed, but I also had been paying attention

and I knew the buzz was predicting that the coming year was going to be a big year for him, with a lot of big projects and a new album and videos that would but him in the media glare like never

before and I told him that I had seen those reports. He blushed and said, "Its true I have a lot coming up in the next year, but they could all turn out to be duds too." I just rolled my eyes at him. "Yeah,

right. Look, you are on tour or traveling around the world constantly, so what I am saying is that what you need to see is that him staying here with me is going to be the best for him, and when you

are in town, you come here, are you willing to concede that?" I knew he didn't really have a stable home life, and did tend to wander about the country, so I hoped he would be willing to listen to

reason on that point, and surprisingly he was, " Yeah, this is his home and you are his mom, so I could see that this would be the best for him." The next thing we needed to figure out was whether or

not he was going to give him his last name. " Do you want him to have your last name? I had left you off the birth certificate and left his last name as Swan in order to prevent any questions from

popping up and to keep any unwanted attention off of him but if you are going to claim him, how much are you going to claim him?" I wanted to know if he was planning on admitting publicly he had a

child, because if he did, that could complicate things here, but we would make adjustments either way, I had to allow him to have some control and to feel like he had some say in things so that he

wouldn't feel like all the decisions had been made for him. " I would really like for him to have my last name, and I want to be on the birth certificate. I intend to live up to my obligations and pay support

for him and provide for him." I kinda laughed at that last bit because the child wanted for nothing and I told him that. "He has more than enough at this point, he is fully covered by my insurance, he has

more clothes and toys than he will ever play with or wear, so he doesn't need your money. He needs to know you. If you want to pay support, start him a college fund and put it in there, or when he

starts school, you can pay for his extra-curriculars, but for now he has more than enough and what I can handle, his grandparents and his two uncles take care of." His family. That was something that

we hadn't really discussed. They had a grandson that they had never seen and that wasn't exactly fair and I reminded him of that. "You need to send them a picture before some media outlet gets a

hold of this and breaks the news to them on TMZ or something." We walked back into the living room where the Captain was sitting on the couch with Spence asleep on his chest. "Have you two got it

hashed out enough to realize you aren't going to kill each other?" We both laughed and nodded, he said, "Good! Can we eat then? Im starved!"

Dinner was a happy affair, everybody talking and laughing and joking like life had not undergone dramatic changes over the last year. Spence slept through most of it amazingly and I actually got to eat

a hot meal for the first time in a long time. Young Rock Star and daughter chatted like fast friends and it was just a great bonding time for all of us. During dessert, Spence started fussing and before I

could even move, young Rock Star was up and over to him, giving him his binky and gently rocking him back to sleep. I was impressed that he seemed so earnest about being involved with his son, but

I was also concerned, because I hadn't had to really share the baby before, and now I was facing sharing one of the most precious things in my life with someone who was a virtual stranger, and who

lived a lifestyle vastly different than the one I lived. I hoped we could make it work without me having the desire to thrash the hide off of him or it ending up in the courts every step of the way, because

I had seen what had happened in those cases and it was never a good ending for the children or their families, so I was going to draw on the fact that we were adults and we needed to do what was

best for the baby, I just hoped he felt the same way.

After dinner we cleaned up the mess and the Captain and J.D. decided it was safe enough for them to head on home to their place for their private Christmas celebration and daughter headed off to

visit with her best friend and their family and to distribute gifts to them and collect her loot, with plans to spend the night. I told her to not say anything about what had happened until we figured out'

what we were going to do or say to people, and she gave me that typical teen, "Duh? As if I want all of them over here harassing you guys and mauling my baby brother." And with that she hugged the

young Rock Star again and left, with the warning, "Behave yourselves! Mom! Don't hurt him!"

We were alone with the baby for the first time and it was getting close to his bed time, and because I was working hard to keep him on some sort of a routine, I didn't want to deviate from that

because it would mean having to start over, so I told young rock star that we needed to get him changed for bed, and settled in. He looked disappointed to have to put him down, but I explained that

babies are creatures of habit and they do most of their growing when asleep, and since he was a preemie, he needed extra time to sleep and grow. 'Can I help get him ready and tuck him in?" I

handed him his son, and told him, "Not only can you help, you are going to do it and I am just going to tell you how, while I get you some pictures of you with him. Lets go make him a fresh bottle and

then you can feed him his night bottle while I get his jammies and stuff ready." He looked nervous about getting barfed on again, but I showed him how to slow the rate down and burp him

intermittently so the puke wasn't quite as bad. I got some nice pictures of them together with my camera and even with his phone so he could send them out to his family right away, and I could

imagine there was going to be quite a shock facing them when they got that little holiday surprise.

After we got him down to sleep, we went back out to the living room to talk about the rest of the things we were going to have to sort out. It was going to be complicated and I knew it. I don't think he

quite realized just how difficult things could get in the long term, but he was young and he had just had a bomb dropped on him in baby form, and instead of freaking out and running as far away as he

could, he was trying to do the right thing. I had to respect him for that. " So what do you think?" I asked him. He took a deep breath and shook his head, "He's beautiful. I never thought that I would

see something so perfect and wonderful and that I would want to just be right there with him so much." "What are you going to do about that, I mean, you are all over the place and hes not exactly

verbal right now, though he is getting better, he's graduated from coo to gah, and im sure da will be coming soon." I always thought it was God's sick sense of humor that that even though I was the

one that had handled all the poopy diapers and barf and sick and late nights with my daughter, her first very clear word was , "Dada" , and I held no illusions that Spence would be any different. We

just sat there on the couch for a few minutes unsure of what to say now that everyone was gone and the baby was asleep. "So who are you seeing now, does she like kids?" He looked at me, "Im not

seeing anyone, haven't seen anyone since I left here, ive been too busy with work and stuff ." Well, I saw some pictures with you and some little Hollywood hottie a few months back and you looked

pretty comfy with her so I thought you had finally found someone?" He laughed "That is all your fault! remember you said that people thought I was gay and coupled with best friend? Well I told him

that shit and he freaked the hell out worse than me, so we both got some friends to hang out with and take some pictures with so that we could get those rumors to die down." I laughed, "Ohh so you

got a couple of beards?" 'What! No! Well…ahh Crap!" I guess that you would say that but you KNOW I am not gay! You have the proof in you bedroom!" He was laughing as he reached over to tickle

me and as I tried to smack his hand away he grabbed my wrist and pulled me to him,(oh good lord was he going to do what I think he was going to do?) YES! It seems that old habits die hard and we

were soon wrapped up in each other, even though I was still a bit pudgy and gross feeling, and I wasn't sure I wouldn't leak breast milk on him because that was taking forever to dry up! But it didn't

seem to matter as we fell together. I did stop him long enough to tell him that there was no hope for a repeat of the little miracle sleeping in the bedroom, that I had been fixed, and all he said was,

"Fine with me" as everything else was lost to groans and moans.

Babies are not known for sleeping late. Young rock stars are. I was up with Spence in the kitchen, having already cleaned him up, changed him dressed him and fed him his breakfast and started my

coffee before his father even rolled over to the other side of the bed. The poor guy looked tired, and I decided to just leave him be for as long as he needed. His cell phone was on the couch and had

rang a few times, but I just let it be. It was his life, and I didn't own him, so it wasn't my business. I kinda considered him my personal alley cat and I liked it that way. I could feed him occasionally and

he would take care of business for me, he was good occasional company, but he didn't overstay his welcome. Spence was a nice reminder of him, and I loved my baby with all my heart, but I didn't want

the perfect little suburban family and I hoped young rock star didn't either. I didn't mind being a soft place for him to fall on occasion, but I was serious when I said I wasn't the marrying type to my doc,

I had been let down once to often to allow myself to trust in any man and I wasn't about to start with some overgrown kid.

I started cooking some a hearty breakfast that would hopefully put some ass back in the boys pants; eggs, bacon biscuits, gravy and grits would stick to him and give him a good place to start off from.

I heard the shower start and I knew he was up and about so I checked the dryer and put it on fluff to knock the worst of the wrinkles out of his clothes though by looking at some of the pictures I had

seen of him in the past, he wasn't too particular about that kinda thing.

I made sure Spence was napping in his carrier and I took the clothes back to the bedroom to that he didn't have to come wandering into the kitchen in the same grubby stuff he had worn all day

yesterday, and as I heard the shower shut off , I let him know I was setting his clothes and some coffee out on the dresser for him, and I went back to finish up cooking breakfast. I didn't know when

he was leaving, but I wanted him to feel at ease when he did it and truth is, I may not want him to stay around 24/7, but I was kinda protective of the kid and since he was my sons dad, that now

made him my kin, and I was obligated to look after him as best I could for Spence's sake. He came wandering into the kitchen and bent down and picked up Spence, cuddling him to his chest and taking

a deep sniff of the top of his head. I had to laugh at him just a little, I did the same thing about a million times a day. " You know, I think if they could bottle that smell and then spray it around

whenever folks are feeling like starting a war or fighting over something stupid, they would find it just makes people feel soo mellow and happy that they would never want to fight again." he said. I

told him, "You think that smell is powerful? Wait until you hear a baby giggle or taste baby toes! Oh man those are the cure for all kind of ills, including , worst days ever, bad traffic, mean bosses,

headaches, and just all kinds of bad stuff." He nodded, " Yup, I can totally see that being true." He just hugged Spence up closer and buried his face against him as I set a plate full of food in front of

him and warmed up his coffee. " Why don't you eat up and get some meat on your bones?" I patted his shoulder and he looked up at me, surprisingly with tears in his eyes. " I cant do it." he said. I

was a bit concerned, what couldn't he do? " I cant leave him again. I just met him and I want to hear him giggle and I want to be there when he smiles and cries and does all the amazing things that I

know he is going to do, and I cant do that if im not here." Oh…ohh shit, why did I have the sinking feeling that my alley cat was about to try and become a house cat?

He has to leave! Didn't we talk about this last night? He has a career that takes him all over the damn place and in fact, I assumed he was leaving this very morning, but instead he was sitting at my

kitchen table holding onto his son like he was the very thing anchoring him to the Earth and sounding like he wasn't wanting to go anywhere. I had no idea how to proceed. I couldn't knock any sense

into him, he had the baby in his arms. I could try reasoning with him, but I was not known for my ability to be diplomatic, I was more of a , "Command Presence" kinda person and I was used to getting

people to do what I commanded without being argued with, but I had a feeling that this boy was one of those anti-authority types that would do the exact opposite of whatever the hell I tried to force

him to do. "What about Texas? Aren't you supposed to be there now?" I tried going with guilt, that always worked on my daughter because she has a really strong sense of obligation so I hoped he did

too. " It was just to see my family and hang out for a while, they will understand especially after I send them those pictures you took, could I please stay, just for a little while, I wont be in the way and

I will take care of him while you work." I was prepared to flat refuse him, to tell him that I couldn't cope with a man around my house constantly, getting in my way, mucking up things and messing with

my routine, but you see he has theses things, the very same things that his son has, and its those damned eyes with those lashes…dammit! I swear they are capable of causing the loss if I.q. points in

even the most hard hearted of women. He turned them on me, and he gave me , "The Look", that under the bangs, plaintive, please don't break my heart, Im part puppy/baby Harp seal, look that just

turns my knees to jelly and I heard myself saying "Okay" even though my mind was screaming ,"What the fuck are you thinking! You don't let the alley cat stay in the house it will sleep on your pillow

and piss all over your good jacket and hump things!" He jumped up and hugged me, and I just felt stunned. What the hell had I just agreed to? I not only had a baby in my house now, I had a barely

grown man-child eating machine that was going to turn my house and my life upside down once again. He was promising to help with all kinds of stuff and swearing he would stay out of my way, but I

just wandered off down the hallway to my room to take a shower and to try and figure out just what the hell I was going to do with a house full of kids.

After spending a half hour in the shower debating slitting my wrists or wondering if I could justify having the young rock star incarcerated for some reason, I finally realized I was going to have to come

out and face him and set down some ground rules for my new and hopefully temporary, houseguest. Daughter had arrived home and was sitting at the table with him chatting while he gave Spence a

bottle. He did look really adorable doing that, and my stone, cold heart twinged just a bit at the happy little sounds coming out of the baby as he ate, and at the absolutely enraptured expression on

young rock stars face as he looked at him. Daughter smirked at me, "So I hear we are going to have a guest for awhile, this should be pretty interesting, especially since Ali is supposed to be spending

the night this weekend when her parents go out of town." Oh boy! Interesting is not the word I would use. Ali would be on him like white on rice and she could not keep a secret to save her life. If she

spotted him and even remotely suspected he was who he was, then she would have it tweeted out complete with pictures before she even got all the way through the door. I was going to have to

figure out a contingency plan of where to stash him, or I was going to have to get the girls to go stay at the Captains, that should be fun for all involved.

I was a bit grumpy as I tried to start my day. It was the day after Christmas and I was still on a sort of half-assed leave, but I had been going to the gym already and working out with either the

Captain or J.D. everyday for at least a couple of weeks, and I didn't want to start messing with things already, so I told him that I needed to start my day and if had things to handle and stuff to go get

from the hotel, then he needed to go do that while I called up my gym partner and found out why the hell they were slacking off and daughter kept the baby. I found an extra key and gave it to him and

told him he could stow his gear in the baby's room, but once we got some time to sit down and talk, we would need to lay some ground rules about things so that he didn't end up getting inadvertently

smacked up by me or any of my cronies who would not be expecting a random young guy to be hanging around my place, and we would also need to figure out is security around daughters crazy-

assed , hormonally charged pack of friends. He looked a little worried at the prospect of that problem, but daughter ensured him that she would run interference for him so he would be able to live in

relative peace,(from them at least) while he stayed with us, though she laughed at him thinking living with a baby was going to be all rainbows and butterflies.

The Captain showed up just as I was getting ready to call him up and bitch him our for being a lazy, sand-bagging, fat body, and he gave me the raised eyebrow when he saw that I was leaving the

young Rock star in the house with the baby and daughter. "So what's the word Swan? Should I be expecting to get an invitation in the mail? Am I your best man or your maid of honor?" I debated

shooting him, but I was afraid that would make me even further off my work out schedule, so I settled for flipping him off. " Now I thought we had resolved that question, you are not my type, but your

little friend, Him? Him I would defiantly tap." Ewww! That just …ugh. I did punch him over that one. "I would neuter you if you ever cheated on J.D. and you damn well know it." He laughed, "But, damn,

it almost wouldn't be like cheating…" "WOULD YOU SHUT UP? You are not 'Tapping" him!, Jeesh!" He full on laughed at me then, " Well Swan, you seem to be just a little territorial over his young ass

, what are you going to do when he leaves like you want him to do and goes back to that little cutie in his band?" I laughed at comment, "Hes not gay, Cowboy, and just how do you know about him

and his band?" " Well, if he was going to be around you and your daughter, I needed to know more about him so that I could make sure you would be okay. He is the father of my Godson, and I

needed to know he was a decent guy, so I might have done a little research on him." Riiight, research. I am sure the research entailed watching all the homoerotic soft core porn fanfic vids floating

around the internet and spanking it to them as well as reading more than a few of those Fan fics as well. I laughed that the thought of the Captain reading fan sites and fan fiction and kinda wanted to

bleach my brain too. "So what makes you think him and any of his band have anything going on?" He looked over his glasses at me, " You are kidding me, Right?" "Well, I said something about it when I

first met him and he flat denied it, and in fact he freaked out just a little, so I don't think so." He snorted , "Okay Cleopatra, but I will hold it over you when I am proven right, the boy may not be full on,

but he has swung from both sides of the tree more than once." He was just messing with me…right?

We worked out in the gym for a couple of hours, until I was to the point of feeling like I had beaten the heavy bag into submission and kicked the Captain around the sparring ring until he was ready to

cry, so we got cleaned up and headed out to grab some lunch while I called the house and checked on daughter and Spence. Things were calm and collected at the house, daughter said that the young

Rock Star had returned with one ratty bag of wrinkly clothes that she had throw into the washer, and his guitar, and he was asleep on the floor beside Spence. "I have totally been taking a million

pictures because they are soo cute together! How long is he staying? Can he stay forever? Can we keep him, mom Huh? can we keep him?" she asked laughing. Even daughter saw him as a bit of a

stray and I just told her that we would talk when I got home, but I was going to eat lunch with the Captain after we picked up J.D. She was okay with hanging out for a while longer and I needed to run

the situation past a couple of people that I trusted to give me good advice.

After we got J.D., we went to a restaurant close by the apartment in case all hell broke loose and we needed to go rescue someone, and I decided to cut to the chase, " My alley cat is trying to become

a house cat and I don't know what the hell to do about it. He wants to stay for awhile, the, "awhile" being undetermined so he can bond with Spence and get some experience being a father. He is

essentially blowing off his career and everything he has worked for to this point in his life to just hang out in my house. I do not know what to do about this. I am not used to having permanent

company and I was not wanting permanent company. I understand he wants to be with his son, but I did not want to have him to raise as well. We are going to have to worry about daughters friends

finding out about him because they would be all over him and I would be in the middle of a tween feeding frenzy with my baby as the chum. What the hell should I do?" They both looked at me and

laughed. Not a nice laugh either, but full on, we are making fun of your ass, laughs. I wanted to kick them both, but I kinda hoped they would have something to say after they got the worst of it out of

their systems.

J.D. was the first to get himself under control, (he always was the more civilized), and he said, "You are waay over-thinking things. Did he say he was planning on staying forever?" "No" "Did he say he

was quitting everything? "No", He merely said he wants to spend some time getting to know his son and bonding. I would be willing to bet he wont last more that 2 weeks to a month before he heads

back out on the road, that boy is a rambler and he might love that baby, but he loves his freedom more and he will put them boots to the ground before you have time to want to throw them out the

door and then we will be sitting here listening to you whine about how much you miss him." Well that just pissed me off! "That is not true! You know I don't like extended company and I get all anxious

and irritable if a guy tries to get all clingy and stuff, remember what happened with that damn paramedic?" The both cringed and cradled their packages, yeah…they remembered. That jackass had

thought that going out a few times had given him the right to show up at my house unannounced and try to force his way in for a midnight romance. Did you know that it is possible to not only rupture

a testicle, that there is such a thing as testicular torsion and it can be caused by severe twisting injuries? Paramedic couldn't heal hisself, and in fact he had to be sedated before they could even unroll

him enough to strap him to a gurney for transport. I only prosecuted him for trespassing, not breaking and entering and assault, though I had all the proof I needed, and he never bothered me again. "

I do not play well with others and I have already smacked him up a couple of times on accident, so the poor kid is already skating on thin ice, so when he does, ramble on down the road I wont be

whining about how much I miss him, I will be breathing a sigh of relief that he escaped unscathed so my son will have his biological father around in small doses."

They didn't believe me, but they were at least willing to offer to suggestions such as enlisting my female friend to take the girls on a shopping trip to Seattle for the weekend so that we could avoid Ali

until he left, but we were going to have to prepare for the inevitable, because once he was on the birth certificate and Spence had his last name, she was going to know and she was going to be upset

we didn't clue her in. Life was soo damned complicated, if I had just neutered the alley cat from the get go, none of us would be in this situation.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N Hey ya'll! We are getting close to the end of this lil tale and I hope you are still enjoying it. I will tell you what, I have really gotten a kick out of writing something that I never figured I would be able to pull off. I am writing an outtake in _Young Rock Stars POV for the Fandom Against Domestic Violence Project_, so if you want to catch it,please, contribute to that worthy case that is near and dear to my heart. My own personal story is on their site and it might surprise you. **

**There are 3 more chapters after this one and I haven't decided if I will write another story with these guys or different POV's. I have enjoyed them though and I have enjoyed the reviews and talking with you guys that have reviewed and recommended me to your friends. This story has been fun because it was written with love, affection and humor and any resemblance to anyone live and kicking is purely ya'lls pervy imaginations.**

He was still asleep in the floor when I got back to the apartment. Spence was starting to stir, so I scooped him up and changed him and got him a bottle as I asked the Captain and J.D to set young Rock star up a cot in the babies room with a side table and place for his stuff. I didn't want him to think that he could just count on sleeping in my bed every night, because on nights when I was working SWAT or any other related details, I didn't want to have to worry about waking him up when I came in and needed to unwind. I wasn't sure where he would end up most nights, and I figured he would migrate back and forth as the mood suited me and him. Even with all the rattling around and commotion, he didn't stir, and that made me realize just how thin he was. I looked at really closely for the first time since he had arrived and I was taken aback at how dark the circles were under his eyes, and how thin he looked. His shirt had pulled up as he slept and I could see his hipbones and some of his ribs. Dammitt! He needed us and I guess I was going to be tending to him for a bit, at least long enough to get him fattened up and healthy before I sent him out into the world. I pulled the throw off the couch and covered him up, flipping off a smirking Captain and J.D. as I did so. I still was saying I didn't want a freaking house cat.

He slept most of the damn day away, only waking when Spence really got fired up and angry about a diaper change taking longer than he liked. He was still bleary eyed and out of it, so I handed the baby off to daughter and I escorted him down the hall to my room and stripped him down and tucked him into my damn bed so he was at least out of the middle of all of the commotion. I was waking his young ass up for dinner no matter what because I was cooking enchiladas and we were having a big family dinner and getting him to eat was part of the plan so I was going to cook guy food. Captain and J.D. made a grocery run and picked up all the requirements for dinner, and daughter and I made a big pan of brownies, so we were set for dessert. Spence was happy in his seat while we cooked and he batted at his toys hanging from the bar of his seat in his funny uncoordinated way while we cooked and rattled around in the kitchen listening to the radio.

Once dinner was ready I went and woke him up. He was obviously still tired, but he needed to eat and I told him that he needed to make sure he had let people know where he was and that he was safe. I turned on the "Mom" for some reason, but I didn't want to be blamed if he was going to go down in flames, so I was going to make sure he was doing what he was supposed to be doing. I scooped him up a big plate of food, including salad and a glass of milk and set it in front of him while he picked up Spence and cuddled him. " That baby is going to be there after you eat and take care of yourself, hun, eat your dinner and then I will show you how to give him a bath and you can get some more pictures of him for your family with him all cleaned up and respectable looking. He finally set to eating and he had his plate cleared in no time, even with making small talk with the Captain and J.D., he was comfortable around them and daughter, but he was acting like he was waiting for the other shoe to drop, so I decided to let it.

"You can stay, for as long as you need. I have set you up your own space in Spences room if you need it so you will have a place to just get away from it all. We will go tomorrow and get the papers filed to change his name and to put you on his birth certificate so you will have some rights as his father. I have already had papers drawn up before he was born even naming those two chuckleheads as his legal guardians if anything happened to me, so I will need to get that adjusted to reflect you being in his life as well as appoint you beneficiary of some of my estate for his care so you wont end up having to fight to take care of him if anything were to happen to me. " Im not poor" he muttered. "Say what" " I am not poor. I came from money, I have money, in fact I would be described as wealthy, but I just prefer to not flaunt it. I keep it simple because living all rich and flashy is just a way to ask for trouble, But I am not poor by a long shot, in fact I don't have to work at all, I just choose to for the hell of it." He works for the hell of it? He is wealthy? I may seriously kill him.

Alrighty then, so he is wealthy. He just chooses to live like a hobo. So I have a child with a modern Howard Hughes…wonderful. "Okay, so you are wealthy? That's fine, I guess you can help with groceries some then, maybe pick up a pack of diapers now and then?" He looked at me like I was a bit dense, " I can pay for everything. I can buy you a house if you want. You don't have to work if you don't want." I laughed out loud then and said, " I don't need you to buy me anything. I am nobodies kept woman. I have handled things nicely on my own and I don't need you to come in and try to take care of everything when it looks like you can barely take care of yourself. You are bone thin, your clothes look like they have seen better decades and you are exhausted. So why don't you see to your own knitting and I will handle everything else?" He got a little red in the face and it appeared young Rock star was fixing to try and throw a little attitude at me!

" I am just fine, thank you very fucking much! I have been busy working and when I am working its hard to take the time to go shopping or cook a decent meal. I end up having to eat a lot of junk food or crap in a hurry, so rather than run the risk of eating stuff that will make me fat, I just skip meals and make do with coffee and cigarettes, so yeah, I may be a little thin right now, but I can afford any damn thing I want to eat. I am not trying to make you a "Kept woman" (he did little air quotes and if I hadn't been getting really fired up and pissed off I would have gigged him for the less than masculine nature of that gesture) I am trying to do the right thing!" I started stepping towards him, more than a little pissed off that he raised his voice to me, and ready to grab him by the collar of his ratty t-shirt and throw his scrawny ass out of my house along with his guitar and whatever crap he had brought with him and we could just hash it out in court, but the Captain stepped in front of me just as I was getting close. "Step off Cullen!, I am not having some kid disrespect me in my own damn house!" He grabbed my arms and held onto me while J.D. stepped up behind me, " Bella, he doesn't mean it the way it sounded, he's not Jacob! Give him a break, please! For Spence! He is just trying to help, he just didn't know how to go about it. You have said so yourself that you aren't the easiest person to deal with and he is soo young he is trying to figure things out. Come on, give him the benefit of the doubt and think of him as a rookie in all of this." Young Rock Star was looking at me wide eyed and nodding furiously. "Dammit mom! Settle down! You are scaring him and pissing me off. I you hurt him again I am really going to be annoyed and I am going to hide all of your boots, so cut the shit and sit down and talk to him!" Daughter was using her, " I really mean it!" voice, so I knew I was whipped, I was going to have to submit…for the first time in my life I was out numbered and outgunned by a bunch of kids.

I sat. He sat, (on the other side of the table from me) with the Captain and J.D. on either side of him like bodyguards, and daughter sat at the end of the table like some erstwhile Judge Judy wannabe. Spence was asleep in his carrier and I was glad he had managed to doze though the worst of the tension and as I gave young Rock star a look, I could tell he was genuinely worried about the change in the mood of things. " Do not ever raise your voice to me like that. I wont stand for it. If you have something to say to me in regards to something I did or said you don't agree with, then you talk to me like we are adults and both human beings. I am not some servant. I am a self-made woman who is more than capable of taking care of myself, my kids and pretty much anything else that needs taking care of, I have done it on my own for the last 17 years, so don't come in and think I need rescuing by some rich kid. It offends me. We have what we need. If you want to contribute to your upkeep while you are here, that would be nice, but we don't need your support. I am glad you have money, good for you, but hear me now, I will not see Spence turned into some spoiled, Hollyweird, trust fund brat. He is going to have normal and that means living a normal, middle-class, life, I have seen the train wrecks those people are and I don't want that for him. Can you understand that?" He nodded, " I understand where you are coming from, but if I can provide him with some things that make life a little better, would you let me?" " Give me examples." He seemed to think for a minute or two as if he was really struggling to try and not make me angrier, " Well, medical care and braces and things like that. I can pay for him to have the best of those." I had to give him that, my insurance was good, but not fantastic and if he wanted to pay things like co-pays and upgrades for things, then I would let him. It took me years to pay off daughters braces. "I will agree to that, but no plastic surgery or anything like that." It seemed as if everyone around the table had been holding their breath, and when I said I agreed to his first offer, they let that breath out and everyone began smiling. Maybe we could figure this out with minimal blood shed.

We talked for another hour, until Spence began fussing, and I went and made a bottle while he got him up and changed him out of his wet diaper. The Captain and J.D., sensing that we had reached a peace accord, decided to head home for the evening and leave us to sort things the rest of the way out. I saw the Captain whisper to daughter that he would have his cell close by if he was needed, as he headed out the door, and I flipped him off as he waved goodbye. I loved those guys, but gah! Sometimes I just needed to thrash something or someone, though I have to admit, when it came to him, I wasn't sure if the desire was more to thrash him, or do something else with him, and that was leaving me all kinds of conflicted inside.

Daughter decided we could behave well enough without her supervision now that the baby was awake and in need of tending, so she headed to her room to get ready for bed, so we were left alone with just Spence to referee any disagreements that might arise. "Would you like to learn how to give him a bath, it's a little late to dress him up for any pictures tonight, but we can give him a bath to clean the worst of the funk off of him and he will start of fairly fresh tomorrow, unless he blows out a diaper tonight or pees on his head again." That got the first laugh out of the young Rock star in over a couple of hours, and he said he thought like a bath sounded like a great idea. I gathered up the towels and bath gear after turning the heat up in my bathroom so it would be nice and toasty for him, and then I showed him how to run just enough to cover baby butt, and to test it with the elbow to make sure it wasn't too hot or too cold, as well as the football hold for a slippery baby, even one that peed on him as he was lifting him up to wash his butt. He handled it all pretty well, and then bundled him up like he had done it a dozen times. I showed him how to trim fingernails and all the fun that could be had with the full head of hair. We combed it all kinds of directions and even into a mohawk, which was adorable and he snapped a picture with his phone to send out to his friends. "I guess you have finally broke the news to everyone now?" He sighed deeply, "Yeah, some took it better than others, and my agent is still having a heart attack. The guys in the band are cool with it, and they are understanding about me missing some of the tour, so its not going to be a deal with them." Wait…missing some of the tour? The tour that wasn't supposed to start for SIX MONTHS? I was doing my best to stay calm and not let my voice betray my worries, "So what about your movies and things like that?" "Well, that is why my manager is having a heart attack, I asked him to look into getting me out of my contract so I could have more time to spend more time to get to know my son." His manager was having a heart attack? hell, I could trump that! I was having a heart attack with a nervous breakdown chaser.


	12. Chapter 12

**T**his was not good. This was soo not good! He wasn't planning on staying a few weeks and then wandering his merry ass on down the road, oh hell no. He was planning on sticking around and being Mr Mom Indefinitely. I was trying to stay calm and rational as I thought about how to approach the problem without creating a brawl and requiring the intervention of my self appointed keepers. "Do you really think this is a good time to be just stopping everything in your career and dropping out of sight? I mean, you are on your way up and your career is really taking off and now you are just going to stop everything? That's kinda a dangerous move don't you think? Fans are fickle creatures and they will always be looking for the next big thing. You could lose it all if you quit now." He just looked at Spence and said, "I don't care. If it all goes away, then I will either start over or do something else. I haven't been to college, maybe I should do that? I have time to figure things out with my career, but time with him his fleeting." Dammit! He had me there and I couldn't blame him for wanting to have time with his son, but I just had no idea how it was all going work with him being around ME constantly. He seemed like a good sort, and we obviously had something that worked, at least in bed, but I did not want a keeper.

I decided to play a trump card with him that I thought would give him a bit of a impetus to at least consider that living with me wasn't going to be the easiest thing to deal with. " You are going to have to quit smoking…everything. You are going to not only be living with a baby, and the chemicals get into your clothes and on your skin, but you are going to be living with a cop, a very high ranking cop, and anything that is even remotely illegal will not be tolerated." He just looked at me wide eyed for a minute and then he said, "Understood and I have already started quitting and I wont be buying anymore tobacco." I didn't bother to tell him that the smell of his cigarettes were driving me crazy with cravings and if I had to smell them much longer I was going to cave and start smoking again and that would get me more hassle than I wanted to deal with from everyone. "You need to clear anyone you plan to have over, with me. Friends, family, whatever, I need to know who, what, when , where , all that kind of info so no one gets hurt. You know how I react to unexpected people around my home." He nodded and said, " I am not planning on having anybody over, I don't really know anyone here and if the guys come up here, I will go to them to prevent anyone getting hurt."

That brought up another issue that was going to be difficult for me to learn to deal with, him taking my baby places without me. I had to accept the fact that he was going to have rights and he was going to want to take his son places and do things with him, but I wasn't really prepared to deal with that though I wasn't sure how I was going to prevent it. I figured the only thing I could ask was for him to be safe and respectful when he did it. " You will need to learn how to correctly install and use his car seat in your car so when you take him places, he will be safe. His car seat will be used each and every time he is in a car. That is a non-negotiable point, and he is never left in a car alone. I would ask that if you do take him someplace, that you let me know so I do not worry." He nodded and then shocked the hell out of me by saying," I was wanting to trade in my car on a vehicle that would be safer and more practical for carrying him around, would you be willing to help me pick one out that would be good for that?" Car shopping? Oh this should be fun, but I had to admit, the kid was trying and maybe I should try a little too, but I wasn't going to relish the idea of a barely housebroken stray mucking up my house with his boy stuff and being around constantly and more than likely interfering with my routine and habits and my general "situation normal". I was going to have to see how he behaved over the next few days before I really decided whether or not I could handle putting up with him on an extended basis for our sons sake. It was late, I was tired and getting crankier by the moment, so I said, " Its time to tuck him in for the night, I don't want to ruin his schedule, or mine, so lets get him down to bed." He carried him down the hallway to my room and tucked him in to the bassinette, I changed in to my pj's and pulled back the covers on my bed as he stood there looking at me as if he wasn't sure what to do. " Uh…Bella? Can I sleep in here or do I have to sleep in his room on the cot?" I sighed. He didn't want to be away from his son, and that cot was an uncomfortable bitch to sleep on, so I just grunted and scooted over so he could have the side near the baby. As he stripped off his clothes I groaned. " Tomorrow we are going to buy you some underwear and some pj's ok? I do have a teen daughter living at home and we don't need to give her a free show of what she fantasized about for the last few years!" He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to him, " I know this is difficult for you, and I want to tell you how much I appreciate you being so kind and supportive of me getting to know him and trying to be a dad. I know I will fuck up at times, but I will try my best." Well, hell! If he was going to try, I guess that was all I could ask for, and besides, I had a hot young man cuddled up next to me and that tended to go a very long way towards persuading me to be nice. The baby was sound asleep but suddenly I wasn't quite as tired as I had been before young Rock start climbed into bed beside me warm, willing and very, very naked. He had these remarkable powers of persuasion that sure seemed capable of coaxing me into the most insane of situations.

I enlisted the Captain and J.D. to go car shopping with him. I had reports to catch up on and it would be a great boy bonding experience for him to spend the day running around with them, what was funny though was watching Cullen fold himself into the clown car that the young Rock star owned. I may have taken a picture or two for later black mail use. Once they were gone, I sat down with daughter to discuss what to do about her friends and Ali, since he obviously was not going to be leaving any time soon. "Mom, its already all over the web that he has vanished! Rumors are flying thick and crazy, everything from lovers spat with one of the other guys,(oh that was priceless) to rehab for alcohol abuse. There are rumors he was spotted downtown here, so he is going to have to either change his appearance or he's just going to have to count on being stalked by crazed fans." Changing his appearance? That was a possibility. He tended towards the scruffy, and if we cleaned him up, cut his hair short, got him some adult clothes, he would look vastly different. I would have to talk to him about that. " We need to find him something to do. He cant just sit here at the house all day long, I told her. He will either need a job or to be in school because if he just sits around here with Spence he is going to go nuts in short order, so I need your help in encouraging him to find a hobby or something that wont attract a lot of attention." "If we tell Ali who he is, she is going to flip the hell out. She wont be able to keep it a secret at all. We are going to have to give him an alias and figure it out from there, until maybe he isn't so popular of famous anymore, until he is just like a normal guy or something.' Whoa…daughter was making plans on keeping him around long term wasn't she? I told daughter we would talk to him about it when he got back from his shopping expedition with the guys and we would see about coming up with an cover for him.

It was late afternoon when they finally got back, and they came in laughing, which I figured was a good sign. "Bella, you have got to come see what they talked me into! Please, come see if it meets with your approval." He scooped Spence out of my arms, kissing him on his head and grabbing up a blanket to wrap him in against the biting Portland cold and we went out to look at what had him so amused, and I have to admit, I was a bit surprised, though I could see the Captains stink all over the decision to buy the monstrosity that was parked next to my car. " An H3T? Really? You go from your ugly little eco-friendly car to a substa-penis? Those boys are rubbing off on you really bad." He laughed, "Check out all the features, his seat will go here, and in fact we already picked him up a new one that can just stay in place, and it s the best on the market!" He was really excited about all the features and such, so I smiled and patted him on the back and said, " Looks like you did good, and that's a great seat, I feel much better knowing you guys will be safe in the crazy traffic out there." He gave me one of those grins that I have absolutely no resistance against, and hugged me. "Lets get back in the house before the baby freezes, daughter and I have some ideas we need to talk to you and the guys about and we want your input."

Daughter started in on him right away about how his disappearance was sparking a huge commotion around the fans of his movies and band, so he was going to have to change how he looked if he wanted to stay hidden, so she was thinking of giving him a makeover. The Captain and J.D. guffawed at the thought of daughter giving him a makeover and as she glared at them, she seemed to click on something mentally. "Mom! I have it! He will be J.D.'s brother from Texas! They look similar and we can say he and you hit it off and are dating, even though that's still kinda just…ick!, but it will work!" I looked at the guys, and said, " What do you think? Can we swing that and will you be willing to make some changes to how you look and dress to help keep things quiet and sane around here?" He was nervous but agreeable, and before he knew what was happening, daughter had shoved a ball cap on his head and was dragging him out the door to the mall for his "Makeover" the Captain yelled after him, "We'll pray for you man!"

They were gone for over 3 hours and I was beginning to get a bit worried, but just as I was considering dressing the baby and calling in reinforcements to help me hunt down the young Rock star and my daughter, I heard his truck pulling in to the space in front of the apartment. I was standing in the kitchen as my daughter came though the door with a man I would have sworn was a stranger, and not the young Rock star she left with. He looked like a grown assed man! His hair was cut like J.D.'s and even highlighted to match, he was shaved except for a mustache and he was wearing a black snap button shirt and a pair of jeans that actually fit on his ass, as well as a pair of boots and most unusual, a pair of glasses. If I thought he was good looking as a scroungy young man, then I was damn sure done for seeing him as a grown up looking man. Daughter walked over and lifted my jaw into place, I guess it was hanging open a bit, and said, " I don't think anybody will recognize him like this do you?" I just shook my head. I was stunned speechless. He smiled at me and said, " So do you approve?" I didn't know what to say, other than "I didn't know you wore glasses."

They had managed to pick up enough clothing and things to keep the economy of the local area afloat for several months, so he was outfitted rather well, and I was amused to see that he had bought his son a few outfits and toys that were very uniquely him. I told him, "It will be a little while before he is ready for guitar lessons, but he will enjoy slobbering on it quite a bit I am sure." He blushed and just said that , "I wanted him to have his first from me." I smiled at the sweetness of that, and I knew I had to reinforce him just a little, "You are going to give him quite a few of his firsts, I am sure. You are his first father, and how about we get that taken care of tomorrow by making it official?" He smiled as he took his son , cuddling him up and getting slobber all over his pretty new shirt,(it was going to take him a bit to figure out babies were messy critters) "I think I am ready for that."

He had all the proper identification and everything filled out in advance before we even headed out for the courthouse, and I had brought a copy of the original birth certificate and all the other papers we would need to get things handled. He gave them my address as the location to mail the corrected certificate to, and he insisted on ordering and paying for half a dozen copies. He was given a temporary copy that the clerk printed up and he stared at Spences name as if it was the best thing he had ever seen next to the baby that had to carry that monster around, " That poor kids name is bigger than he is!" I laughed. It will take him half his life just to learn how to write it all out and God forbid he ever follows in your footsteps and becomes famous, he will never get away from fans if he stops to sign autographs!" I was seriously cracking myself up as he looked at me with a bit of a smirk, "Initials tend to fit nicely on boobs and things." he said as he headed back out to the truck.


	13. Chapter 13

So I now had a man in my house on a semi-permanent basis. He was supposed to be sleeping on a cot in Spences room, but for some reason that never seemed to be where he ended up. There was always some reason that he ended up in my bed, and most mornings, he was sprawled across half the bed and me. I was getting used to it, and at least he didn't snore too damn bad, but he did talk in his sleep on occasion, and what he mumbled was often pretty damn weird and entertaining. He managed to quit smoking without killing anyone and in relatively good spirits so that wasn't even something I could hold against him, and he even managed to pick up after himself most days. He spent much of the time he wasn't with the baby, hanging out with the Capt and J.D. , doing all kinds of boy things. They took him out shooting and they went out and broke his truck in out in the woods, testing it out on trails to make sure it was safe for the impending zombie apocalypse or whatever they were expecting to hit. I was able to get back into shape relatively quickly, and he often joined me in the gym and even volunteered to spar with me on occasion, though he made sure to be in my good graces before we entered the ring. I taught him a few basic holds and strikes that would keep him safe in the event of rampaging groupie attack, or angry husband encounter, but he didn't seem to be in any big hurry to get back to talking about rejoining his band or the working world.

Spence was growing quickly, and his firsts were captured on video and sent all over the world for his and even my family to behold. His hair had never been tamed and it was a wavy mess all over his head that often got him mistaken for a girl. As he approached the 9 month mark he was babbling and drooling as well as attempting to explore every nook and cranny of the apartment on his hands and knees as well as get into everything he could get into. I had moved him out of the bassinette and into his crib after he started pulling up onto his knees and moving a little too exuberantly, for my liking, but I still hadn't managed to get his father to make the transition, though truthfully I had quit trying. I was used to him like you get used to a certain pillow or an old cat that you never can convince to not sleep on your feet. For the most part we were getting along pretty well. He left a few times for a week or two at a time to do some concerts and to record some music with his band, but he always came back and he called for nightly updates on Spence while he was gone. His family had come up to Portland to see the baby when he was around 6 months old. I was out of town at a conference, so I missed that little bit of fun, but I told him to have them stay at the house and feel comfortable so everybody would be happy. Daughter sure seemed to like them and I got glowing reports from the Captain and J.D., so I figured when the time came for young Rock star to take Spence for visits, he would be in good hands and well looked after.

We butted heads a few times, but that was because he seemed to keep forgetting that he had no right to tell me what the hell to do. Im a damn cop and a SWAT team member, sometimes dangerous things happen, sometimes I get booboos and that is just a part of the deal, and I had made it though my life before he came along without some man taking care of me or worrying about me, and I had no intention of that changing, so when I ended up at the E.D. one night after getting into with some boys who thought that there were going to charge through me rather than get arrested with the pound of meth they had on them, It was a bit of a tense time. Daughter had sent me a text letting me know that she had Spence for the evening, and that young Rock Star was out on a ride-along with J.D.. Cullen and I had been working on surveillance of the meth house for close to 3 months and we had decided to finally hit it and take them down along with other members of the team. We decided to hit the door hot and heavy, with me going in second, but we did not count on scumbags boiling out of that place like cockroaches out of a flophouse, or that one of them would throw a baby at the number one guy that was supposed to go in.

The whole mission went to shit at that point and with scrotes scattering to the four winds with the meth on them, I went after the two I knew were carrying it towards the bathroom to flush it, lucky for the bust but unlucky for me, the entry team at the back of the house had made it in and were coming and we ended up in a huge pileup in the middle of a hallway outside of the bathroom. I managed to grab the meth from one to the scrotes and I went to ground with it as the rest of the goon squad laid in with whatever they could swing in the narrow hallway. They got the scrotes under control pretty quick, but not before I caught a couple of boots to the ribs and a buttstroke to the shoulder and then someone caught me in the head with something pretty damn hard and that was all she wrote until I woke up in the E.D. with a nurse telling me that my "Husband was on his way in to see me." What the what? Husband? Had I been hit harder than I thought? How fucking long was I out? I shook my head to try and clear the fog away but that was a bad fucking idea because that shit hurt! I started trying to get up and find my boots and gear, wondering who the hell had my weapons and grumbling that they better not have cut my damn tactical bdu's again. It was bad enough those crazy nurses in the E.D. seemed to get off on cutting the laces on my zip up boots so that I had to spend time getting them relaced , but bdus to fit me had to be cut down to size and that shit cost money. Sure enough! Dammit! Both my pants and my shirt were cut right the fuck up the front! Somebody was fixing to get their ass kicked, and as the curtain pulled back, flashing my ass to the minions in the E.D. as the nurse said, "Mr. Swan she's right through here" I thought the perfect one to get his ass kicked had just arrived.

Get your own ass out of a bed in an emergency room and start trying to get dressed so you can leave because you damn sure don't need to be there? People get a little upset. Go to take a swing at the young peckerwood that is claiming to be your HUSBAND and somehow miss and end up almost hitting the floor because all the sudden you are really fucking dizzy for some reason? They freak the hell out. Next thing I knew he caught me up and was trying to talk to me, and some bitch jabbed me in in the ass and that's I knew for a bit. If they thought I was a bit annoyed before, when I woke up later and not only was I still in the damn hospital, I was fucking hogtied to the damn bed. "What the fuck are you doing here, where are my clothes and who is with the baby?" "J.D. and daughter are with Spence, Edward went to get something to drink." I was groggy as hell, and I had to wonder what the hell that bitch had hit me with, it must have been strong enough to take down an elephant. "You didn't tell me where my clothes are." he looked uncomfortable as he said, " They cut your clothes off to see how badly you were hurt, so J.D. took them and your other stuff home." "Well, where the fuck are my replacements so I can get the hell out of this place, get Cullens ass in here after you untie me." He shook his head, " I cant untie you, you will try to get up and you might hurt yourself, you have a really bad concussion and some cracked ribs. They want you to stay overnight." Oh he did not just tell me he was refusing to untie me! Nobody restrains me in some Goddamned hospital bed against my will! "Un-Fucking-Tie Me NOW! He shook his head again. "No Bella, you are hurt pretty bad, I saw the bruises and I am not going to untie you." I started hitting the call button and working on sitting up, I was soo fucking angry that he would have been best served to be praying that I didn't get loose any time soon. He stepped towards me and put a hand on my shoulder and pushed me back into the pillow, "Lay the fuck back and take it easy ! You have a head injury and if you don't settle down they are going to sedate you again and I am going to help them!" I saw red. "You better fucking pray that you are far enough away when I get loose that I have time to calm down before I find you, other wise I am going to kick your ass so hard your grandma is going to feel it.

The nurse came charging into the room armed with a syringe. "If you sedate me with that shit I swear to God I will sue your ass off, bitch! Step the hell off of me and untie me! She glared at me as Cullen came into the room, he looked at young Rock Star, "What's she up to? "Threatening me and demanding to be turned loose so she can leave." Cullen looked at the nurse, "He is her legal next of kin, so whatever he says, works for me." Young rock star looked at the nurse, "She is just going to keep trying to get loose and trying to leave, so you are better of knocking her ass out again. I will stay here and keep an eye on her." "Remember that bruise on your thigh I gave you when we first met?" His eyes got big, and as the nurse jabbed me in the arm with the needle again I said, "The one you are going to have on your taint is going to make it look like a love tap when I get done with you." The last thing I heard was Cullen laughing as I said, "You too, you bastard!"

The sun was just coming up the next morning as I woke up feeling like I had been hit by a Mack truck. I decided to play possum for a bit so I could get my bearings and get good and awake before I let the rest of the room know I was up and moving. I heard snoring from my right and I took a quick peek only to see that the young rock star was assed out in a chair next to the bed. I thought I was being stealthy, but then a voice whispered in my ear, "I know you are awake heifer, you aint fooling me." I opened one eye and looked right into J.D.'s face. "You need to untie me so I can commence with the ass kicking, beginning with that fool and ending with your boyfriend." He chuckled and keeping his voice low, whispered in my ear again, "Now why would I let you hurt a boy that loves you as much as that poor fool loves you? He stayed here all night long, worried to death and watching you like a hawk, until I got a nurse to slip him a sedative because he was giving me nervous fits with how he was looking like he was going to have a heart attack every time you moaned or whimpered." Bullshit! I don't "Moan or whimper" I had no idea what that fool was talking about, but "Love"? Nah, the kid was just scared to death he was going to end up taking care of a baby on his own, I had made it damn clear from the get go that ,that particular emotion was not on the table at all, so it wasn't even in the realm of possibility, and if he had been foolish enough to go ahead and try to feel it, then he needed to snap the hell out of it and learn the reality of the situation, I was not a loveable kind of woman, I was the kind of woman that drove men to insanity and left them wanting to hurt or kill me, but never "love" me and if he did, then that would have to stop. .


	14. Chapter 14

**THIS IS IT! LAST CHAPTER!**

**To all of you who have taken the time to review and comment and support me in this crazy venture, I cannot thank you enough. This is my first ever,multi-chapter fic and it was really crazy and stressful for me to write. Cant tell you how many nights I sat bolt upright in bed worried that I did something wrong or that I was gonna offend someone that I adore completely. **

**I dont know if I am going to do a sequel, I do have a couple of ideas floating around in my head, but I will have to see what the demand is for continuing this story. I do have a couple of other stories I write and my muse is a moody lil fella that tends to give me a hard time,especially when he goes missing for weeks at a time. **

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**WWW(DOT)I N D I E GO GO (DOT) COM/Girlfriend-2?a=77671&i=addr REMOVE THE SPACES OR HELL, JUST GO TO MY TUMBLR OR TWITTER, IM ALWAYS RANTING ABOUT IT. **

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**THIS IS A VERY COOL PROJECT THAT NEEDS TO BE SEEN. HELP THE BOYS MAKE THIS HAPPEN! **

I laid there seething in that damn bed for another hour before a damn nurse came in. It was a good thing I wasn't too bad off because hell, they just freaking left me alone with Beavis and Butthead in that damn room, tied down and pretty fucking helpless. Young rock star was out for the count and I think we could have dropped a bomb on his lap and he would have slept through it. showed up right as they were getting ready to finally untie me and he looked rightfully nervous. "Now Bella, you have to understand, you have a bad concussion. We were rightfully worried so we were just acting in your best interest." I just glared at him as J. D. started backing away from me. He looked at young rock star and shook his head ruefully as he asked Cullen, "Don't you think we ought to get him out of here, after all , the credo is, "Never leave a man behind." Cullen nodded, "You're right, lets get him and get the hell out of here. He dropped the duffle bag he had in his hands on the table in front of me and asked the nurse untying me to wait just a few minutes. They each grabbed young rock star under an arm and hoisted him up and drug him rapidly out of the room as Cullen said over his shoulder, " Your clothes and stuff are in the bag, you have cab fare as well, we will see you when you calm down!" and the bastards left me!

It was another 2 hours before I finally got cut loose from that damn place with all the proper paperwork so my stupid insurance paperwork and all the, "Follow up here and don't do this or this will happen" crap that doctors try to feed you. A WEEK off of work? Who the hell did they think they were kidding? I found my cell phone in the duffle and I called the house right away and I got a rather testy daughter, " Are you calm yet?" I huffed and she said, "I will take that as a big, fat, "NO!" Jeeze mom, you really need to settle down before you give your self a heart attack. I have been here all night with alternating freaked out men and a teething baby. I really don't need any more drama. I have tests and stuff coming up and if you run him off because you scared the hell out of him, that is really going to upset me, because I LIKE HIM! Spence likes him, we all like him and we want him to stay, so be NICE! He was scared to death you were really hurt." "Where are they all hiding right now?" She was quiet for a few moments. "Jess, where are they hiding?" " Mom, I am begging you, please! Don't run him off. Spence needs his dad. I need my friend, and believe it or not, you need him too." "Jess…" "Fine mom, but I mean it, you better be nice! They are at J.D. and Edwards." "Thank you, I will be home soon. Do you need anything for the baby?" She sighed deeply, "No mom, just his daddy in one piece." I prepared to hang up as she said, "Mom?" "What Jess?" " Please, think about it. I have really missed having a dad around and it breaks my heart that Spence might have to deal with that." and with those words she hung up.

I gave the cabbie directions to Cullens place and then I sat in the back and mulled over all that had been said to me about the situation I found myself in. I was still pretty pissed off about being treated like I wasn't capable of taking care of myself, after all, I had taken care of myself and others for close to two decades without anybody else stepping in and helping me out and I wasn't about to lose my autonomy to some shaved tail kid who play acted and sang, chasing about all over the country like some Peter Pan with glandular issues, but, he had kinda grown on me. I was used to the way he warmed up the bed at night, and how he seemed to know just how to hit all the right spots when I needed a good solid trouncing. I liked the way he interacted with his son, and how both their faces lit up when they played with each other in the floor, or when he played his guitar and sang for him, just silly made up songs that he thought up on the fly. The kid had fucking grown on me. Dammitt! I must still be messed up from all the sedation or something, but I found myself deciding I wasn't going to thrash him, (Maybe Cullen, because that jackass knew better), but not the young rock star, but we did need to have a talk.

There were no vehicles in the drive at Cullens, but that didn't mean anything. They were hiding from me, so either they had pulled the trucks into the garage or they had them hidden around the back. Cullen had forgotten I had a key to his place, and I figured that since he had graced me with his presence at the start of this whole fiasco unannounced by using my key, now was as good a time as any to use mine. I put the key in and quickly stepped into the house, turning and locking the door behind me, along with the deadbolt. I quietly walked down the entry way into the living room and there the cowards sat on the couch. Young rock star was slouched on the end of the couch with J.D. sitting next to him while Cullen sat in his recliner. "I TOLD you Jess would dime us off in a heart beat." J.D. said while getting up to stand in front of young rock star. "Its okay J.D., if shes gonna get me, I'd rather she get it out of the way now, rather than later. Im not going to run. Im not going to apologize for doing the right thing." Cullen was shaking his head, " You got some balls man, at least for now you do." I scoffed at him, "Im not going to hurt him, but we need to have a come to Jesus meeting about a few things so some things are really clearly understood, can we all sit down and have a talk?"

You could have heard a pin drop as they all took in what I had just said to them. I was going to try communicating with them, instead of pounding on them, at least for the time being, though it was not my strong point. Cullen jumped up and said, "Well, Im going to get a beer, anybody else want one or a dozen or so?" We all seconded that deal and J.D. resumed his seat next to young rock star so, I snaked the recliner while Cullen was up, leaving him to sit at the far end of the couch. "So how long are you supposed to be taking it easy?" Cullen looked at me like he knew he was about to get ripped a new one, "The release was for a week, but I think we all know what I think of that." "Why is is so damn hard for you to take it easy, its not like the world will end if you actually follow doctors orders and let your body heal properly for once." Young rock star leaned forward on the couch and spoke to me like he had known me for longer than he had, " You push yourself so damn hard to always fight harder, work longer, do more, be tougher and do with less than everyone else. You don't have to be like that. There are people around you who would help you and take some of the load off, and you don't have anything to prove anymore, you have made it. You have it all." I looked at him and I wasn't quite sure what to do with him. I could tell he meant well, but that he had no idea what real life was like.

"Listen up, Jr. I have to work harder, push further and work longer. I have not "Made it", I have a tenuous position in a place where its dog eat dog. I am a woman working in a mans world and where those under me would gladly smile in my face and stick a knife in my back to use as a rung in the ladder on the way up. I do not have anyone I can count on to make things easier for me, I have friends in the exact same position I am in, and I have an ex in prison for trying to kill me. I learned the hard way not to count on a man and that when you do, they cant handle the pressure and they take it out on you. You have seen the scars? That is nothing compared to the broken bones and internal damage he did. Those pills I take for the migraines? That is because of the brain injury he gave me, he hit me so hard he fractured my skull. I was in ICU for 3 months and when I got out, and started rebuilding my life with Jess, I vowed that I would never count on anyone ever again, and I have managed to keep that vow for close to 17 years. I fought hard to get to where I am. That is why I train daily, and I never let anyone get close to me, until you, you slipped past everything I had in place to protect myself and I don't know what to do about it, because it makes no damn sense at all."

Crying, I was crying! I don't fucking cry! But, Hah! I wasn't the only one, Cullen and J.D. were both a little teary eyed and ill be damned, young rock star had tears rolling down his cheeks too. Well, fuck! I really know how to work a room , don't I? "Bella, can I please? He started to raise up like he wanted to come over to me and well, fuck it, I nodded and him and the next thing I know he was hugging me and I liked it. He's a good hugger, not so big and overpowering that he feels like he smothering you, no…he's slender but strong and its just nice and he smelled so damn nice. I hugged him back and we just held each other. I don't know how long we were like that, he was on his knees and that shit cant be comfortable, and I was getting a crick in my back, so I rubbed his back and I may have sniffed his neck a little. He sat back on his heels and he looked at me with those damn eyes, those eyes that make women worldwide just kinda forget what the hell they were doing and go, "Oh!" and wander into walls and shit. I have a love hate relationship with those eyes because they do that to me too and it makes me feel stupid, but ah, hell! There it went, and I was sitting there all googly eyed and goofy. He probably could have asked me to drive his truck into a bank and rob it naked an I would have.

We sat there for a long damn time just considering each other. I really didn't know what to say to him. I figured I was fond of him, after all, he's the daddy to the light of my life, but I am incapable of dealing with a relationship. I didn't know what he wanted or expected, but all I could do is tell him the truth and hope that he was willing to be understanding and deal with things without pushing me. "What do you want boy? I cant give you too much, I just don't have it to give. I am not an easy person to be around, I have a lot of demons and issues and I have a pretty bad temper. The only ones that escape it are my kids, so if you want to hang around knowing that I wont be controlled or bossed or that I am going to continue to be me, then you are welcome to try, but I make you no promises about anything, I cant."

"That's all I want, just let me be there, let me be around, I am sorry if I stepped over the line, and I cant promise it wont happen again, but I will try my best to stay out of your way when it comes to things like that, but you have to understand that you are the mother of my son and that means things." I sighed deeply and ran my hands though my hair, feeling the knot on my skull and wincing at the tenderness of it. I was getting tired and the beer wasn't helping much, so I smiled at him and actually patted his arm, " We both have a pretty big learning curve when it comes to learning how to deal with each other, so we are just gonna have to try and adapt and be tolerant. If I don't, Jess has threatened to hide all my boots. It seems she is rather fond of you for some damn reason." Cullen and J.D. laughed and of course Cullen had to add, " Hey, we are pretty fond of him too, and we had decided that if you were gonna kick him out, we were going to take him in over here, so there!" I cut my eyes at Cullen, "You better watch it, you are still on my Junk punch list." I set my beer down and stood up, just to see Cullen flinch, " C'mon Jasper, lets go home before these two decide to get up to trying to make those rumors about you come true."

Silence fell over the room as they all looked at me. "What?" Why the hell were they all staring at me and grinning, and why was young rock star standing there with a goofy grin on is face like he won some kinda fight or something?

" You said it!" "I said what, What the hell are you talking about?" " Bella, In all the time the boy has been around, you have never called him by his name. Its always been "Boy", "Kid", "Hey You" or "Young Rock Star" or worse, but you have never said his name." J.D. was grinning at me as was Cullen and young rock star, (aka Jasper) was looking like he was going to hug me again, oh yeah, here we go another hug. He thinks he's wearing me down. Hell, he may be right, he just smells so nice and oh boy, here comes that look again. Dammit! I grab his wrist and spin him around and pin him against the wall,(just for old times sake), and whisper into his ear, "Don't think this means that you cant still be neutered and declawed." But I kiss him on the side of his neck and pat his cute little ass as I let him go and I give Cullen and J.D. another glare, as I turn around, "Who is calling us a cab or should I just stay here until I decide that I want to go ahead and deal with you now?" Cullen has his phone out in record time and a cab is on the way before I can even finish walking up the hall to the front door. I hear Cullen and J.D. congratulating Jasper as he gathers up his stuff, and I smile, he's not a bad kid, and maybe if he keeps his head on straight and remembers to duck at the right times, he might just survive being around me.

The End…for now

**AGAIN, THANKS TO ALL MY FAITHFUL READERS AND REVIEWERS FOR THE SUPPORT AND LOVE. **

**Yeah, If anyone wants me to I will probably write a 'Further adventures of" story for these guys, but I wrote an outtake of this in Young Rock Star/Jaspers POV for "Fandom Against Domestic Violence", and as soon as I know if there is any interest, I might get rolling on it.**


	15. Chapter 15

**This is just a quick and dirty(or not so dirty) that I wrote as my first ever contribution for a fund raiser. Its 'Young Rock Stars" pov from the beginning of "Up Against The Wall". I hope you like it. ****The usual disclaimers hold, this aint nobody but who ya'll think about in your pervy minds and any resemblance otherwise is just pure happenstance and my own perversity at resemblance to Meyers work except a pretty common name.**

She scares the shit out of me. Hand to God, I know the woman can hand me my balls on a plate and probably kill me in like, 20 different ways with a pencil, and that both terrifies me and makes me so fucking hard I cant even walk. I don't know what happened in her life to make her like that, but I kinda intend to find out, unless of course she kills me in the process. Man! I have never been this beat up after a night of passion before! My damn leg still hurts like hell, and its going to be hard as hell to hide the bruise on my thigh around the guys, but I guess I will just have to wear my britches around em more than usual for awhile. The scratches and other shit they expect to see, hell we all get a little scuffed up every now and then with a wild one, but I look like I lost 10 rounds with a rabid grizzly. I enjoyed every damn minute of it. There is something to be said for them older women, they know things…wild and different things and they often don't mind using them and not having to worry about getting them knocked up? Fucking A! That's the best! No kids to worry about, they are often fixed and clean so its just smooth sailing all the way to happy land.

She wore my ass out. I was already running on empty from being on the road but then hitting it in the car and then just the stress of everything that went on, hell! I couldn't help passing out on her. I was shocked she tucked my ass into bed and took care of me. I kinda expected to wake up in a cell cuddled up next to some Bubba at the county lock up, and honestly, we all know I am too damn pretty for that kinda shit to end well in my favor. Oh, and that whole, "Partner" thing…whoa! She really freaked me the hell out, so yeah, I did have to do some looking into things and I have to say, there are some people with waay to damn much time on their hands! I aint gonna confirm or deny nothin, but some of the observations that folks made…make a person think that hell, even if it wasn't true, maybe it should be, because hell, that was some seriously hot stuff I read and saw.

I would really like to get to know Bella better. Damn! I don't know if its because she's just so damn different from what I am used to, or maybe its because I secretly like getting the crap kicked out of me and living on the edge, but she's interesting and different and the fact she actually doesn't want a damn thing, (including me), is something that really intrigues me. I've called her a couple times now and left her messages and texted her, but she doesn't return my calls. I don't know what the deal is. I thought I gave her a good time. I thought I did a good job. If I don't hear from her by the end of the week I am going to go back over to her house and just hope like hell she doesn't beat the hell out of me before I can say something.

Holy Hell! She's on the news! Bella is on the God dammed SWAT team? Oh My God I am so fucking hard it's a good thing I just have a towel on. What an image to find on my TV after I get out of the shower! She's soaking wet, standing there holding a sniper rifle, talking to some news schlep about how they were able to end the standoff with some dumbass peacefully, she looks absolutely perfect. My dick is at full salute and I know I just have to go over and find out why in the hell she has not been answering my phone calls or texts, though that rifle has me just a little worried. Clothes on, wallet in pocket and my ass is out the door and down the road to either get some answers and another tangle with a woman that makes me feel like I am alive or an ass kicking of epic proportions, either way, im good with it.

I still had her address stored in my GPS, so it was easy to find my way back to the quiet little neighborhood she lived in. I was really surprised to find that someone like her lived in such a small, out of the way apartment complex, but I figured that maybe she had her reasons. Her car wasn't in her driveway, so I decided to park in an empty spot and just wait for her to get home. I figured I would just take a nap and wait on her, (couldn't hurt to have my rest if things went well or I needed to run like hell),I needed to work on some song lyrics anyway and nothing like a little peace and quiet to help the ole thought process.

Dammit! I must have fallen asleep! I didn't even see her damn car pull in, and now I have to walk up to the door at o dark thirty once again? Fuck it! I am not going to risk getting whacked with that damn stick again, I am gonna march right up there and ring the damn bell, and if she decides to smack on me then, well…I guess I will just have to hope she doesn't whack me in the junk or the face, because well, the junk would ruin my good mood and put an end to my happy thoughts, and if she hits me in the face I will catch hell at work.

I did not expect her to answer the door in her underwear,(well, honestly after the whole naked thing last time I maybe did), but the gun? Yeah, the gun I did not expect, and honestly the semi that I had going on deflated just a little until I realized she wasn't mad at me, and then, well, HELLO!

Wow… that was insane. I was planning on starting the day off the same way, but waking up to her angry voice and the voice of another man in her living room kinda freaked me out. I may not be the biggest s.o.b on the planet, but I figured if nothing else I could hold her holster or something while she beat the guys ass. Hauling ass down the hallway I didn't even take time to think about the fact I was naked, but what the hell? The guy that had my wallet made me feel more naked than I had felt in a long time, and if he hadnt tossed me my britches pretty quick I might have scooted back down the hall to find a towel or something so I didn't get eye molested anymore than I already had. The other guy though…that was weird with a capital 'W" . The dude could be my twin brother and the fact that we grew up in the same part of Texas and had more in common that just looks? yeah…me and daddy were gonna be having a talk when I got back home about the possibility of strays roaming around. I wasn't expecting to go and hang out with them and I really did enjoy it, especially getting to know more about her from her friends. Damn, she is gonna be a handful and I hope she lets me hang around long enough to show her that I am more than just a couple night stand.


	16. Chapter 16

Just a note to let you know the first chapter of the sequel, "Back Up Against The Wall- Strip Search", is up on FFN. Let me know what you think. Love it, hate it, got any ideas, shoot me a line and don't be shy. '

I make no promises about an update schedule, I am writing this one on the fly.


	17. Chapter 17

Don't know if you were aware of it, or if you even care, but there is a sequel to this story. Its called "Back Up Against The Wall-Strip Search"

.net/story/story_edit_?storyid=7233741/1/ and if you cant link to it from here, you can find it on my profile. It ties into my other story ,"Long Distance" as well. Its been updating pretty damn frequently and is just about to wrap up.


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